About the best thing that extreme old age kan do for us iz tew make death a relief. Phools are alwus a wishing for sumthing. To be thoroughly pittyed will take the courage out ov enny man. Envy iz just az natral tew the heart ov man az blood iz tew hiz boddy. When a doktor looks me square in the face and kant see no money in me, them i am happy. He who will flatter another, will rob him, if he gits a good chance. Thare might possibly be sum advantage, in entering a convent, if we could eskape from ourselfs, but go whare we will, we have tew keep company with one, who is able tew do us more hurt, than enny boddy else. The meanest kind ov a loafer iz he, who iz willing tew be abuzed by every one, for the privilege ov abuzing others. If it iz really a blessing tew die, it must hav been a curse to be born. What iz the principal difference between poverty and ritches?--poverty kant be worse, and may be better; ritches kan be better, and may be worse,--the difference iz in favor of poverty. We kant have a better evidence, ov the perversity ov human natur, than the fakt, that we arrive at wisdom, thru our adversity, instead ov thru our reazon. A wize man never dispairs, when hope givs out, then cums resignashun. The best way i kno ov tew repent ov enny thing, iz tew do better next time. Pashion alwus lowers a grate man, but sumtimes elevates a little one. Thare iz nothing more bekuming to enny man than humility, yet it iz about the last thing he thinks ov. Too mutch reading, and too little thinking, haz the same effekt on a man’s mind, that too mutch eating, and too little exercise haz on hiz boddy. The highest rate ov interest that we pay iz on borrowed trouble--things that are always a going tew happen never do happen. Face all things!--even advertisy iz polite tew a man’s face. A learned phool iz one who has read everything, and simply remembered it. Thare iz no good substitute for wisdum, but silence iz the best that haz been discovered yet. Confidence iz a big thing, it makes a hornet respektable, and the want ov it, iz just what makes the pissmire dispised. If I had a boy whose hair wouldn’t part in the middle, I should bedew that hair with a parent’s tear, and then giv up the boy. JAW BONES. Dry goods are worshiped in this world now more than the Lord iz. Councilling with fear iz the way cowards are made; councilling with hope iz the way heroes are made; councilling with faith iz the way Christians are made. Pleazure iz like a hornet--generally ends with a sting. The most dangerous characters in the world are thoze who live in the subburbs ov virtew--they are rotten ice. Lazyness iz a good deal like money--the more a man haz ov it, the more he seems tew want. Thare iz no such thing az inheriting virtew; money and titles and fever sores kan be inherited. The virtews of a convent are like hot-house fruits--tender, but tasteless.