A man with one idee alwus put me in mind ov an old goose a tryin to hatch out a paving stun. Thare iz just about az mutch real humor in the best ov geniuses az thare iz juise in a lemmon: one good squeeze takes it out, and thare iz nothing but seeds and skin left. As in a game ov cards, so in the game ov life, we must play what is dealt tew us, and the glory consists, not so mutch in winning, as in playing a poor hand well. If I was asked which was the best way, in these days ov temptashun, tew bring up a boy, i should say--bring him up the back way. I hav known folks whose _calibre_ was very small, but whose _bore_ was very big. If a man begins life bi being fust Lutenant in his familee, he never need to look for promoshun. A pet lam, alwus makes a kross ram. I never could cee any use in making wooden gods mail and femail. FUST IMPRESHUNS. Fust impreshuns are sed tew be lasting. Enny man who haz only been stung bi a hornet once will swear to this. [Illustration: FUST IMPRESHUNS.] The safest way for most folks to do iz to do az the rest do. Thare aint but phew who kan navigate without a kompass. A wize man iz never konfounded bi what he dont understand, but a phool generally iz. Yung man, don’t grind yure scythe all on one side! I don’t know ov a more lamentable sight than an old rake--even repentance looks like a weakness in him. Politeness iz often wasted, but it iz a good and a cheap mistake tew make. Our very best thoughts often cum tew us sudden, but seldum perfekt. They require polishing up tew make them komplete. Do a good turn, yung man, whenever yu kan, even if yu hav tew _turn_ a grindstun to do it. Repentance iz generally konsidered a weakness, but i kno ov nothing more indikative ov strength. Human knowledge iz not very komprehensiv after all, for i hav seen men who could kalkulate an eklips to a dot, who couldn’t harness a hoss tew save their lives. I don’t kno ov a more diffikult karacter tew fill, nor a more butiful one when filled, than the command in the Bible--“Be ye az wize az a sarpent, but harmless az a dove.” Every boddy in this world wants watching, but none more than ourselves. Cunning iz very apt tew outwit itself. The man who turned the boat over and got under it tew keep out ov the rain, waz one ov this kind. A weak constitushun kan be strengthened, but a weak set ov branes kan’t. Vanity iz a strange pashun--rather than be out ov a job it will brag ov its vices. All phools are poor listeners. About all it takes tew make a wize man iz tew giv other people’s opinyuns az mutch weight as we do our own. Flattery iz like ice-kream--to relish good we want it a little at a time, and often. The more yu praze a man who don’t deserve it, the more yu abuze him. Yu kan’t flatter a truly wize man--he knows just how mutch praze iz due him; that he takes, and charges over all the ballance tew the proffit and loss ackount.