Slander travels on the wind, and whare it cums from, and whare it will
go we don’t enny ov us seem tew kno.
Look out for thoze pholks who are familiar on short notiss, they are
like hornets, they mean _sting_.
When a man ov _larning_ talks he makes us wonder, but a wize man makes
us think.
It iz safe to say that thoze who go into solitude are not fit for
sosiety, and thoze who are not fit for sosiety are certainly unfit for
solitude.
A sophist iz one who puts hiz light under a half-bushel for the sake ov
letting the light shine thru the kracks.
Style in writing iz like style in dress--a good fit.
How menny suspishus people one meets in this world. If their nozes waz
stuffed with kotton wool they would smell sum kind ov a rat.
Most ov the animiles and insex (az well az the men) liv on each other,
but the spider iz the meanest in the whole lot, for they set traps for
their viktims, and dont even bait the traps.
What should we do if it want for the churches? Thare iz a plenty ov
people who kant worship God only in a church. If they were out in a
field on the Sabbath day they would at once bekum lawless, and fall to
digging out woodchucks or hunting for bumblebees’ nests.
People worth noticing should never forgit that everything they say and
do iz watched by sumboddy, and it iz equally true that the good things
are generally forgot, but the bad ones never.
I phully apreshiate the proverb, “that speech iz silver, but silence iz
golden,” but i must say that sum ov the most diskreet and dignified
phools that i hav ever met hav been thoze who never ventured an opinyun
on enny subjekt.
What iz happier tew meet than a good temper? It iz like the sun bi day
and the soft harvest moon bi nite.
Giv every one you meet, my boy, the time ov day and haff the road, and
if that dont make him civil dont waste enny more fragrance on the cuss.
Sum pholks are natrally so kross and krabbid that it iz an insult tew
them to ask them tew be polite. Yu mite as well ask a dog tew take the
krook out ov hiz tale, and be a gentleman.
Thare iz a grate deal ov religion in this world that iz like a
life-preserver--only put on at the moment ov extreme danger, and put on
then, haff the time, hind side before.
With all the howling for liberty that men and wimmin engage in, thare
iz, after all, but very little ov it in the world--we are all ov us
slaves to sumthing.
I hav often heard ov men who had bekum disgusted with the world, and
retired into solitude; but i hav never heard ov a kommitty ov our fust
citizens waiting on them and asking them tew kum bak.
Pedigree may be valuabel for a man, but i notiss it ain’t wuth mutch for
a hoss: for the fust question that iz asked, iz: “What can he go out and
show?”
I never hav known a man yet die at three skore years and ten possessed
ov the welth that he had got rongfully.
Peace iz the shaddo that the setting sun ov a virtewous life kasts.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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