He takes the fust swaller out ov the dipper, and smacking hiz lips, insists upon your drinking the balance awl up. Poverty haz no power over generosity enny more than it haz over love. This iz my idee ov the kind ov generosity that I am writing about. FREQUENT KRITTERS. THE LOAFER. The loafer iz a human being who iz willing tew be dispized just for the privilege ov abuzing others. He occupys all grades in sosiety, from the judge on the bench klean doun to the ragged thing in britches who leans aginst a lamp-post and fites flys in August. [Illustration: FREQUENT KRITTERS.] He haz hiz circle ov friends, whare hiz koarse jests are re-echoed, and whare to be in hiz konfidence iz konsidered an honor. He iz not alwus destitute ov kommon sense, and quite often iz the author ov jests which pass upon the unwary for humor and even wit. He haz no pride that is worthy, and haz no delikasy that enny boddy kan hurt. During hiz boyhood he kills kats and sells their hides to the hatters, and robs all the hens’ nests and arly apple trees in the naborhood. During hiz middle life he begs all the tobacco he uses, and drinks all the cheap whisky he kan at sumboddy else’s expense. During hiz old age he winters in the alms-houses, and summers in the sugar hogsheds, and when he comes tew die he iz buried in a dich, like an omnibus hoss, with hiz old shoes on. This iz a trew ackount ov the life and adventures ov the ordinary loafer, and yet there are thousands ov human kritters coming onto the platform ov life every six months whoze only ambishun iz to be successful loafers. The loafer kares nothing for publik opinyun, and this alone, will make any man a loafer. The loafer rather covets disgrace ov all kinds, and when a man gits az low down az this, he haz got az low down az he kan git without digging. THE PROJEKTOR. The projektor iz a man with one idee, and that idee iz often like a paving stun, the hardest kind ov a thing tew hatch out, and when it iz hatched out, yu kan’t alwus tell what kind ov a breed the thing iz. He haz been bizzy at work for the last 4 thousand years trieing tew bild perpetual moshun, and haz cum within 3 quarters ov an inch ov it sevral times, but alwus slips up jist az he reaches out tew grab it. He haz dun sum dredful good things for mankind, but too often iz ov no more use in the world, than an extra pump iz. The projektor iz alwus a man ov genius, but hiz genius iz frequently like the genius ov a goose, thare ain’t no one kan beat them at standing on one legg. I hav known theze breed ov pholks tew drag out a long life, richer in their own estimashun than Crœsus, and poorer in the opinyun ov others than Lazarus. They seldum reap enny gain from their invenshuns, and if ever they do diskover perpetual moshun, they will sell the principle tew sum kunning kuss, for 17 or 18 dollars, and starve tew death on the glory ov it.