I hav known several ov these poor phellows in mi life, and only knew them tew pitty them, for they are az tender, all over, az spring lam, and az eazy tew cheat az a blind baby. I hav a friend who iz a projektor. I kant tell what partikular pholly he iz at work at now, but sum one I am sure, for thare aint on the whole arth, a more bizzy kritter than the man, who iz sure that to-morrow will put the finishing touches tew hiz pattent rite plan, for threading the rong end ov a kambrik needle, or his resipee for making soft sope out ov calfs liver. But we kant spare the projektors, all that we can hope for iz, that too menny ov them wont spend a whole life in making a juse harp that will play Yankee doodle backwards, and finally die, and leave the tune haff finished. THE KONDEM PHOOL. Thare iz two kinds ov phools, at the date ov this article, laying around loose in the world, one iz the _natral_, and the other iz the _kondem_. Thare iz sum other kind ov phools besides these, which I shall tutch lightly before I git thru. The natral phool kant help it, he iz born like the daizy, bi the side ov the road, just to nod, and to be sport for the winds. He haz no destiny to phill, that we know ov, but hiz Heavenly Father will care for him, for He cares for the koarse weed and the rank thissell. The kondem phool iz a self-made man, and iz entitled tew all the credit ov the job. Natur turns him out loose into the world, jist as she duz her other works, with all hiz fakultys in good order, but like a ram in a bak lot, he undertaiks tew knok down a stun fence with hiz head, and finds the stun fence too much for the ockashun. He often haz a hed phull ov branes, but like a swarm ov beeze, they keep up sich a buzzing they bewilder him. The kondem phool generally lacks but one thing tew make him all the the suckcess he could ask for, and that one thing iz common sense. Common sense iz all greek tew these kind ov phellows, they kan often rite poetry that reads az smooth and sweet az ile and molassis mixt together, and kan even deliver lekturs all around the kuntry, but one dose ov common sense would take all the starch out ov them, and leave them az limpsey az the nek ov a ded goslin. The kondem phool iz the kauze ov most all trubble thare iz in this world, he ain’t alwus malishus, but iz alwus a phool. I divide the populashun ov the whole world into 2 heaps, and out ov respect for the parable ov the virgins in the bible, i call 5 ov them wize and 5 ov them foolish. It is verry easy tew be a kondem phool, enny boddy kan be one, and not suspekt it. Thare iz a large invoice ov phools just now pressing upon the market, but the market for them iz stiddy, the demand alwus being phull up tew the supply. I rekolekt ov onst saying, upon a memorabel ockashun, (i dont rekolek the ockashun now,) God bless the phools, and don’t let them run out, for if it want for them, the rest ov the world would be bothered tew git a good living.