I like the up and down, perpendiklar man, yu kan alwus git at the solid kontents ov him, by just multiplying him by himself. THE LIMBER MAN. The limber man iz a kind ov injun rubber specimint ov humanity, who kant tell himself how fur he kan stretch without breaking. He iz reddy tew stretch, or be stretched, and tho he flies bak sumtimes tew the old spot, he quite az often snaps off in such a bad place that he kant be mended agin. Limber men aint alwus malishus, but they are az hard to manage az a greased pig, take a holt ov them whare yu will, yu find them pizon slippery. Limber men are rather wuss than wicked ones, for they kant even tell themselfs what they are going tew do next. When a limber man douz git tew going wrong, he iz like a blind mule, when he gits tew kicking, yu aint safe nowhare. Limber men dont alwus lak kapacity, it would perhaps be better if they did, for a still phool iz one ov the safest people we hav. THE JOLLY MAN. Jolly men are most alwus good men. It iz dredful eazy tew mistake spasmodik hilarity for good natur. I have seen men who were called jolly good fellows who were az treacherous in their joy az a kat iz. Yu will alwus notiss one thing, when a kat purrs the most, she haz just thought ov sum new kind ov deviltry. I kno ov no vice in genuine jollity. When a man iz jolly all over, he iz too happy and kareless tew be vicious. I hav seen people who could laff long and loud, but thare was no more good nature in it than thare iz grief in a hyena when they imitate the wail of an infant. ’Tis true we kant alwuss tell about theze things, but if we watch a man all summer, and hang around him all winter, when spring cums agin we ought tew be able tew guess whether the laff that iz in him iz the aroma ov hiz good natur, or iz only the aroma ov the hikkups. THE PEWTER MAN. The pewter man takes hiz name from the old-fashioned pewter spoon, made out ov cheap material, impossible tew keep bright long, eazy tew take impreshuns from almost enny thing, and no more ring tew it than thare iz tew a bogus haff dollar. Puter men are mighty common here on earth, not only kommon bekauze they are plenty, but kommon bekauze they don’t amount tew mutch. They ain’t exactly phools; if they was, we could deskribe them better. They are like bass wood punkin seeds, and white oak whetstuns, in a well-stocked kuntry store, kind ov necessary, tew keep up the assortment. They never do enny thing verry good or verry bad, and go thru life a good deal az a boy goes tew distrikt skool, in green-apple time, jist bekauze he haz got to. THE FITEING MAN. The fiteing man iz a kind ov human bull tarrier, with a jaw on him like a wolf trap that haz just been sprung. He haz a low, sour forehead, a beefy neck, a small eye, and an ugly pug noze. Hiz intelligence konsists in knowing how tew maul another human being, able tew take it in return, and not kno it.