There is little that remains to be said relative to Mr. Shaw, except to
express the opinion that he has taken a very worthy position among the
authors of his own country, and is likely to become a general favorite
in England in his character of “_Josh Billings_.” Some of his latest
papers were contributed to the _New York Saturday Press_, under the head
of “Cooings and Billings,” with a commendatory notice by the editor of
that paper, Henry Clapp, jun., whose name is not altogether unknown to
the literary men of London and of Paris.
{ESSAYS.}
KONTENTMENT.
Kontentment is the gift ov God, as it kan be cultivated a little, but it
is hard tew acquire. Kontentment is sed to be the same az happiness,
this ackounts for the small amount ov happiness laying around loose,
without enny owner. I don’t beleave that man was made tew be kontented,
nor happy in this world, for if he had bin, he wouldn’t hav hankered
enuff for the other world.
When a man gits perfektly kontented, he and a clam are fust couzins.
Contentment iz a kind ov moral laziness; if thare want ennything but
kontentment in this world, man wouldn’t be any more of a suckcess than
an angleworm iz.
When a man gits so he don’t want ennything more, he iz like a rackcoon
with his intestines full ov green corn.
Contentment iz one ov the instinkts, i admit it tew be happiness, but it
iz kind ov spruce gum chawing happiness.
We all find fault with Adam and Eve, for not being kontented, but if
they had bin satisfied with the gardin ov Eden, and themselfs, they
would hav been living thare now, the only two human beings on the face
ov the arth, az innocent as a couple of vegetable oysters.
They would hav bin two splendid specimens ov the handy work ov God,
elegant portraits in the vestibule ov heaven, but they would not hav
developed reazon, the only God-like attribute in man.
When a man iz thoroly kontented, he iz either too lazy to want
ennything, or too big a phool tew enjoy it.
I hav lived in naberhoods whare everyboddy seemed to be kontented, but
if the itch had ever broke out in them naberhoods, the people would have
skratched to this day.
[Illustration: PERFEKTLY SATISFIED.]
I am in favor of all the vanitys, and petty ambishuns, all the jealousys
and backbitings in the world, not bekauze i think they am hansome, but
bekauze I think they stir up men, and wimmin, git them onto their
muscle, cultivating their venom and reazon at the same time, and proving
what a brilliant cuss man may be, at the same time that it proves what a
miserable cuss he iz.
I had rather see two wimmin pull hair, than tew see them set down,
thoroughly satisfied with an aimless life, and never suffer eney
excitement, greater than bleeding tears together, through their noze,
for a parcel of shirtless heathen on the coast ov Madagaskar, or, once
in a while, open their eyes, from a dream ov young hyson contentment
tea, tew sarch the allmiknak, for the next change in the moon.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account