And haint bin seen since. His widdow waz inconsolable for a large amount. Hiz widdow iz also no more now, she coiled oph this mortal shuffle in good shape, at the reasonable age of 86. If her aktual ashes are still extant, i say boldly, “peace tew her ashes.” If her ashes kant be found, i am willing to be one ov ten to make enny other arrangements that will pay. Rev. Moses Bickerstaff wrote those famous sermons ov hiz, that shook the moral firmament from dan to bersheebe, upon the head ov a flower barrel, with a bony pen made from the dorsal feather finis ov an untamed osstrich. He used ink made from an extrakt ov mid-nite, combined with the perspiration ov a confirmed Ethiopian. He also kultivated the ambishun ov hiz little finger nail which grew to bee about 8 feet in longevity. He had a way ov leering with hiz left eye, when he preached, which history sez was cussid good. Bickerstaff haz had a hoste ov immitators, but they are like the millers who fly at a kandle, he cooks them all. Bickerstaff wore hiz hat without enny brim to it, nor enny crown, and alwus put on hiz left boot last. He, like all thoze who lived before the flood, iz now deperted to deth, but hiz way ov doing things (on the hed ov a flower barrell), tho often tried on, haz never bin badly beat yet. Doktor Henry Magnum, M. D., waz a doktor. He waz rather a weak sister, and alwus rode sideways on a side-saddle. He had one strong point, he never giv up a pashunt until he waz plumb ded. His exsentricitys waz theze. He alwus used a wodden spoon, made out ov wood. When he eat, hiz mouth always flu open, to the crook ov hiz elbo. He never et enney mollassis during hiz sweet life. He made all ov hiz pills down cellar. He iz sed to hav had, during his life, a thousand stujents ov medisin, but history sez, they didn’t enny ov them equal Magnum, only in hiz odditys. Docktor Magnum worked in physick about 46 years after the landing ov the pilgrims, on Mount Arryrat, and i presume iz now fully dead, and gone, or too old for a full days work. He wrote a book on rats (az a dire necessity) which waz a standard work for menny generashun ov rats. This book waz translated into Hindoo, and thus waz lost, by being burnt with a widder, in a phuneral scrape. Ebenezer Smile waz probably one ov the most tallented excentricks that ever smiled. He waz a landlord on the Himmelay mountains, and waz the author ov _Gin_. Ten thousand phunny things ov his hav bin handed down, and all lost. The most truly wonderful odd awkwardness ov all hiz peculiarness waz hiz way ov smiling. He could smile and drink a gin cocktale at onst, and the same time. This natrality ov hiz haz bin immitated so mutch since, that the original idee iz all wore out. He haz had several immitators who hav outsmiled their daddy. History sez, he could smile a pint ov gin a day, without enny water in it. But a pint ov gin, now days, would hardly raize a smile ov contempt.