Ebenezer Smile was a bachelor, and history sez, his father waz also one before him. This oddness haz also its immitators. Ebenezer died with a smile on his countenance, or just after one. * * * * * I hav cum tew the konklusion that the excentricitys ov grate men iz the work ov art, and is mistaken bi the owners ov it for natur, and haz made more phools, (bi thoze who hav immitated them,) than the Lord ever haz. Ebenezer Smile waz a kussid poor original enny how. Ebenezer haz vakated life, but he haz left a bitter smile behind him. Oh! the sarkasm, in the smile ov a gin koktale. JOSH BILLINGS INSURES HIS LIFE. I kum to the conclusion, lately, that life waz so onsartin, that the only wa for me tu stand a fair chance with other folks, was to git my life insured, and so i kalled on the Agent of the “Garden Angel life insurance Co.,” and answered the following questions, which waz put tu me over the top ov a pair of goold specks, by a slik little fat old feller, with a little round gray head, az pretty az enny man ever owned:-- QUESTIONS. 1st--Are yu mail or femail? if so, Pleze state how long you have been so. 2d--Are yu subjec tu fits, and if so, do yu hav more than one at a time? 3d--What is yure precise fiteing weight? 4th--Did yu ever have enny ancestors, and if so, how much? 5th--What iz yure legal opinion ov the constitutionality ov the 10 commandments. 6th--Du yu ever hav enny nite mares? 7th--Are you married and single, or are yu a Bachelor? 8th--Do yu beleave in a futer state? if yu du, state it. 9th--What are yure private sentiments about a rush ov rats tu the head; can it be did successfully? 10th--Hav yu ever committed suiside, and if so, how did it seem to affect yu? After answering the above questions, like a man in the confirmatif, the slik little fat old fellow with goold specks on, ced i was insured for life, and probably would remain so for a term ov years. I thanked him, and smiled one ov my most pensive smiles. HOW TEW PICK OUT A GOOD HOSS. _First._--Let the color be a sorrel, a roan, a red, a gray, a white, a blak, a blue, a green, a chesnut, a brown, a dapple, a spotted, a cream, a buckskin, or sum other good color. _Seckond._--Examin hiz ears; see that he haz got tew ears, and pound a tin pan cluss to him, to find out whether hiz hearing iz good. All hosses are dum but a deff and dum hoss, are not desirable. _Third._--Look well to hiz eyes; see that he haz got a pupil in hiz eyes, and not too large a one neither, hosses with too large pupils in their eyes are near-sighted, and kant see oats, and hav tew wear green gogles, and green gogles make a hoss look tu mutch like a trakt pedlar. [Illustration: THE HOSS.]