Thare iz but phew who never marry bekauze they _won’t_ they all hanker, and most ov them starve with slices ov bread before them (spread on both sides), jist for the lack ov grit. _Marry yung!_ iz mi motto. I hav tried it, and kno what i am talkin about. If enny boddy asks yu whi yu got married, (if it needs be), tell him, _yu don’t reccollekt_. Marriage iz a safe way to gamble--if yu win, yu win a pile, and if yu loze, yu don’t loze enny thing, only the privilege ov living dismally alone, and soaking yure own feet. I repeat it, in italicks, _marry young!_ Thare iz but one good excuse for a marriage late in life, and that iz--_a second marriage_. FASHION’S PRAYER. Kind Fortune may thi mersys endure forever; smile thou out ov thi loving eyes upon this fine bust ov mine. Strengthen mi husband, and may hiz faith and hiz money hold out to the last. Draw the lamb’s wool ov unsuspicious twilight over hiz eyes, that mi flirtashuns may look to him like viktorys, and that mi bills may strengthen hiz pride in me. Bless, oh! Fortune, mi crimps, rats, and frizzles, and let thi glory shine upon mi paint and powder. When i walk out before the gaze ov vulgar man, regulate mi wiggle, and add nu grace tew mi gaiters. Bless all dri goods klerks, milliners, manty-makers and hair-frizzers, and give immortality to Lubin and hiz heirs, and assighns forever. Lead me bi the side ov colone waters, and fatten mi calves upon the bran ov thi love. Blister, oh! Fortune, with the heat ov thi wrath, the man who treds upon the trail ov my garments. Take mi two children oph from mi hands, for they bother me, and take them to be thi children, and bring them up to suit thiself. When i bow miself in worship, grant that i may do it with ravishing elegance, and perserve unto the last the lily-white ov mi flesh, and the taper ov mi fingers. Smile thou graciously, oh! Fortune, upon mi nu silk dress, now in the hands of the manty-maker, and may it fit me all over like unto, as the ducks foot fitteth the mud. Destroy mine enemys with the gaul ov jealousy, and eat thou up with the teeth ov envy, all thoze who gaze at mi style. Save me from wrinkles, and foster mi plumpness. Fill both mi eyes, oh! Fortune, with the plaintive pizon ov infatuashun, that i may lay out mi viktims, the men as knumb-images graven. Let the lily, and the roze, strive together in mi cheek, and may mi nek swim like a goose on the buzzum ov krystal waters. Enable me, oh Fortune, to wear shoes still a little smaller, and save me from all korns, and bunyons. Bless Fanny mi lap dog, and rain down bezom ov destruckshun upon thoze who would hurt a hair ov Hektor mi kitten. Remove far from me all the wails of the sorrowful, and shield mi sensitiff natur from the klamours ov the widder. [Illustration] Shed the light ov thi countenance on mi kammel’s hair shawl, and mi necklace ov dimonds, I beseech thee. Enable the poor to shirk for themselfs, and save me from all missionary beggars.