QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS. Qu.--How fast will the “_come-ing man_” probably travel? Ans.--It iz unpossibul tew say, but if he kant beat 2:25, he’d better stay whare he is, for there is no glory left for a slow cuss, in these parts, but to run foot races with the crab family. Qu.--What are yure centiments in regard tew southern rekonstrukshun? Ans.--In mi opinyun, the best kind ov rekonstrukshun for the South, iz to be born agin. Qu.--What iz the most karniverous animal? Ans.--Death. Qu.--What iz the eaziest thing tew digest? Ans.--A good joke. Qu.--Do yu think that females kan ever praktiss medicine suckcessfully? Ans.--Whi not! they kan beat the world bleeding a pocket book. Qu.--Iz thare ennything that iz proof against ridikule? Ans.--Nothing that i kno ov, except fashion, and musketoze. Qu.--Iz it proper tew speak tew a lady acquaintance in the street fust, or last? Ans.--I should think fust, for they tell me that wimmin will hav the last word. Qu.--Who are the only real temperance folks in the world? Ans.--The Greenlanders, whiskey never thaws out thare. Qu.--Iz it proper under enny circumstances tew use the word _Damn_ as a tonick? Ans.--It might possibly be proper, in speaking ov a river that waz dry eleven months in the year, to state carefully that it wasn’t worth a dam. Qu.--What iz one ov the principal dutys we owe to our country? Ans.--The customs. Qu.--Dew you beleave in the mirakel ov Pharaoh and hiz hosts, being drank up by the Red see? Ans.--I do; and i would like tew see the same old mirakel tried over agin ov faro and hiz hosts, in New York city. Qu.--Which do yu konsider the most general pashun ov the humin heart? Ans.--The luv ov applauze; it sticks tew evryboddy during life, and repeats itself on the tumestun. Qu.--If yu waz _blest!_ with a boy, which ov the lernt profeshions would yu dedikate him to? Ans.--The shumakers. Qu.--Iz thare enny rule to obtain long life? Ans.--Only one; liv virtuously; a good life, if ever so short, kasts a lengthning shaddo back upon time, and forward into eternity. Qu.--Which do yu kount the happyest time in a man’s life? Ans.--Immediately after he haz did a square thing. Qu.--Is whiskee a tonick? Ans.--No, it iz an alterative; it alters dollars into pence, and men into bruits. Qu.--Iz revenge a viktory? Ans.--Kill a hornet after he haz stung yu, and see if the wound heals enny quicker. Qu.--Don’t you think that nearly awl the shrewd sayings and snug fitting maxims, in support ov morality, and for the scourgeing ov vice and pholly are simply a rehash ov what haz been written long ago bi the ancients? Ans.--I do, but that iz no argument aginst their reputation; thare iz just az mutch use for phisick now az thare was when kaster ile waz fust invented. Qu.--What is the difference between a mistake and a blunder?