The lovely McFizzles (twins) ov “_snob place_,” will hav a klam bake, sum time this seazon, at their sea side place, “_Goose Nook_,” to whitch the Van Doodles are invited. (Doubtful.) Mr. William Pierpont, ov Goshen, Orange County, haz a sucking colt, ov the Hambletonian breed, which lately followed the mare one mile around the trak, in 2 minnits and 23 seckonds, on a trot. This is sed tew be 8 seckonds the best mile made yet by enny sucker. Report sez that the staunch widdow, Angeline Beeach nee Brown, nee Jones, nee Beckwith, nee Smith, nee McPherson, nee Miss Angeline Spraker--5 times a widder, will soon lead tew the alter Walter Roundout, Esq., (Good bye, Walter.) On dit, that Dick Manchester haz quit the cork minstrel bizzness, and iz starring it legitimately at Sing Sing, on a 2 years engagement. On _ditto_, that the peanut krop ov North Karolina iz a failure, and that starvashun must foller. On dittimus, that George Washington Vinegar will spend sum time this year at the 5th avenew hotel. New Jersey wants tew be admitted into the Union. It iz stated that it kosts 13 hundred dollars tew civilize one injun, and then the injun aint worth but 250 dollars. Loss on each injun tew the government, in money, about 1 thousand dollars; _but_, the moral results are sed tew be heavy. (Let the good work go on.) Mrs. William Hoboken haz had her clarence nuly painted. The nu color iz chestnut sorrel--the old color waz dapple grey. We are authorized tew state that Mr. Alanthus haz just returned from the state ov Injunanny in full bloom, having resided thare one year, ackording tew law, and iz now reddy tew receive proposals. A writer in Blackwood Magazine estimates “that thare haint been over 250 fleas killed since the flood.” We are pleased tew notiss the growing popularity ov Mr. and Mrs. Jibboom; their respektibility iz now fully established, they having appeared on the avenew with a 2 horse carriage, and a slitely coloured driver, with a velvet hat band and sum yeller brass buttons. The latest agony in poodles iz saffron, with steel coloured eyes. Matilda O’Brine, four daze in her last place, with a karacter, will receive proposals at her residence, in Albany street. No objeckshuns tew going into the country for the summer az companyun tew a lady, provided suitable references are given! Lessons on the pianno will be accepted insted ov the usual presents expekted from the family. Enny one wishing tew adopt male or female children, kan hav their pik out ov 16 bi calling on Mrs. Patrik McFergurson. All the children hav got thru teething, and hav had waccinashun. JOSH MOUNTS A VELOCIPEDE. The velosipead iz a wize instrumentality, with two wheels, placed consekutively, one wheel before the other, and the other wheel behind the fust one. They revolve on their axes, simular to the world, from east to west, and have already reached the shores of the Pacifick oshun. They are az eazy tew ride, az a grind stun.