“Well! i am in an awful hurry, i am going down tew tend a jumping match between Springsteel, and Steelspring, two yung grasshoppers; this iz tew be the last hop ov the seazon. “I must be a going! “I am uncommon sorry i kant stay longer, and make yu a good visit. “By the way! Old mother Industry, i hav got a profound sekret, that i want to tell yu, but i wouldn’t hav it known bi ennyboddy, for awl the world, if it should git out once, it would ruin me!” “Then keep the sekret yureself,” spoke the ant, “it iz worth more to yu than ennyboddy else.” This iz every word the bizzy old ant sed, but kept her eye all the time on the phatt keernel ov wheat and the loafing grasshopper moved off, whistling “Sally cum up.” REMARKS. This iz the way with all loafers, if they kant steal yure time with idle questions, their last dodge iz to steal yure credulity with an idle sekret. A HEN. A hen is a darn phool, they was born so bi natur. When natur undertakes tew make a phool, she hits the mark the fust time. Most all the animile kritters hav instinkt, which is wuth more to them than reason would be, for instinkt don’t make enny blunders. If the animiles had reason, they would akt just as ridikilus as we men folks do. But a hen don’t seem tew hav even instinkt, and was made expressly for a phool. I hav seen a hen fly out ov a good warm shelter, on the 15th ov January, when the snow was 3 foot high, and lite on the top ov a stun wall, and coolly set thare, and freeze tew deth. Noboddy but a darn phool would do this, unless it was tew save a bet. I hav saw a human being do similar things, but they did it tew win a bet. To save a bet, is self-preservashun, and self-preservashun, is the fust law ov natur, so sez Blakstone, and he is the best judge ov law now living. If i couldn’t be Josh Billings, i would like, next in suit tew be Blakstone, and compoze sum law. Thare iz one law i would compoze, which iz this, “no yung snob shall walk on 5th avenew on the Sabbath day, and twitch hiz hat oph more than two times, on each block, to persons on the opposite side ov the street, whom he dont kno, and who dont know him.” I would hav this law compozed in brass, and send a coppy ov it to all the bar tenders, and cigar shop clerks, in the city. This would soon put a stop tew this kind ov snobosity. But notwithstanding all this, a hen continues tew be a darn phool. I like all kinds ov phools, they cum nearer tew filling their destiny than ennyboddy i kno ov. They don’t never make enny blunders, but tend rite tew bizzness. The principal bizzness, ov an able boddyed hen, iz tew lay eggs, and when she haz laid 36 ov them, then she iz ordained tew set still on them, until they are born, this iz the way yung hens fust see life. The hen haz tew spred herself pretty well tew cover 36 eggs, but i hav seen her do it, and hatch out 36 yung hens. When a hen fust walks out, with 36 yung hens supporting her, the party looks like a swarm ov bumble bees.