I don’t speak of this as enny disgrace two the hen, it only shows that natur dont even make a phool without a destiny. Az long as hens phill their destiny, eggs won’t git tew be worth over 25 cents a dozen, and broiled chicken will be one ov the luxurys ov life. Thare iz grate proffit, and sum loss, in razeing chickens, the _loss_ iz the heavyest when sum boddy brakes into the chicken coop, and steals all the chickens. Thare iz a grate menny breeds ov hens, just now, but the old-fashioned speckled hen breed iz the most flattering. After they hav laid an egg, they aint afraid tew say so, and kan outkackle all other breeds ov hens, and when yu come tew scratching up a garden, they are wuth two ov enny other kind. I dont kno ov enny sight that pleases me more than tew see an old speckled hen cum sputtering oph from her nest and pitch, feet fust, into a new made garden. I suppoze if I owned the garden this thing might not look so phunny tew me, but yu see, I dont own enny garden. I belong tew that misfortunate klass ov real estate men who dont own enny garden, and I have sumtimes wondered if it want just about az proffitable for me tew enjoy the skratching up ov the garden, and let them other folks who own the hens and the garden do their own gitting mad and swearing. THE GOTE. The gote iz a koarse wollen sheep. They hav a split hoof and a whole tail. They hav a good appetite, and a sanguine digestion. They swallo what they eat, and will eat ennything they kan bite. Their moral karakters are not polished, they had rather steal a rotten turnip, out ov a garbage-box, than tew cum honestly bi a pek ov oats. The male gote haz two horns on the ridge ov hiz hed, and a mustash on hiz bottom lip, and iz the plug ugly ov hiz naberhood. A maskuline gote will fite ennything, from an elephant down to hiz shadder on a ded wall. They strike from their but-end, insted ov the shoulder, and are az likely tew hit, az a hammer iz a nailhed. They are a hi seazoned animal, az mutch so az a pound ov assifidity. They are faithful critters, and will stick tew a friend az long az he livs in a shanty. They kan klime ennything but a greast pole, and kno the way up a rock, az natral az a woodbine. They are az certain tew raize az yung ones, sum familys are haff gotes, and the other haff children. They are good eating when they are yung, but they leave it oph az they git stronger. They are alwus poor in the boddy, but phatt in the stumick, what they eat seems to all go to appetight, yu mite az well agree tew phatt an injun rubber over shew bi filling it with klam shells, az tew raize enny adipoze membrane on the outside bust ov a gote. A phatt gote would be a literary curiosity. They use the same dialekt az the sheep, and the yung ones speak the language more fluently than the parients do.