I hav grate phaith in enny job that natur turns out, and i had rather
hav phaith than knowledge, it saves a grate deal ov hard work. It costs
a grate deal to kno all about things, and then yu ain’t certain, but
phaith iz cheap, and don’t make enny blunders.
Science iz smart, but she kant tell yu what makes the flowers blush so
menny different colors, but phaith can. Science on a deth bed iz a
pigmy, but phaith iz a giant.
STRIPED SNAKE.
The striped snake iz one ov the slipperyest jobs that natur ever turned
loose.
They travel on the lower side ov themselfs, and kan slip out ov sight
like blowing out a kandle. They were made for sum good purpose, but i
never hav bin informed for what, unless it waz tew hav their heds
smashed.
They are sed tew be innocent, but they hav got a bad reputashun, and all
the innocence in the world won’t kure a bad reputashun.
They liv in the grass but seldom git stept on, bekauze they don’t stay
long enuff in the right place.
When i waz a little boy, and wore naked feet, and waz loafing around
loose for strawberrys, i waz often times just a going tew step on a
striped snaik, but it alwus cured me ov strawberrys.
If a striped snaik got into a 10-aker lot before i did, i alwus
konsidered that all the strawberrys in that lot belonged tew the snaik.
“Fust cum, fust sarve,” was mi motto.
I am just az fraid ov snaiks now az i waz 40 years ago, and if i should
liv tew be az old az Nebudkennezer waz, and go tew grass as he did, one
striped snaik would spile 50 akers ov good pasture for me.
Wimmin don’t luv snaiks enny more than i do, and i respekt her for this.
How on earth Eve waz seduced by a snaik, iz a fust class mistery tew me,
and if i hadn’t read it in the bible, i would bet aginst it.
I beleave everything thare iz in the bible, the things i kant
understand, I beleave the most.
I wouldn’t swop oph the phaith i hav got for any living man’s
knoweledge.
Snaiks are all sorts, and all sizes, and the smaller they are, the more
i am afrade ov them.
I wouldn’t buy a farm at haff price that had a striped snaik on it.
Ded snaik are a weakness with me; i always respekt them, and whenever i
see a ded one in the road, i dont drop a tear on him, but i drop another
stone on him, for fear he might alter his mind and cum tew life agin,
for a snaik hates tew die just az much az a kat duz.
I never could ackount for a snaik or a kat hateing tew die so bad,
unless it waz bekauze they waz so poorly prepared for deth.
BABYS.
Babys i luv with all mi heart; they are mi sweetmeats, they warm up mi
blood like a gin sling, they krawl into me and nestle by the side ov mi
soul, like a kitten under a cook stove.
I hav raized babys miself, and kno what i am talking about.
I hav got grandchildren, and they are wuss than the fust krop tew riot
amung the feelings.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account