They lay one egg at once, about the size of a goose egg in which the gosling lies hidd. The gosling iz the goose’s babe. The goose don’t suckle hiz young, but turns him out tew pasture on sumboddy’s vacant lot. They seem tew lack wisdum, but are considered generally sound on the goose. They are good eating, but not good chawing; the reason ov this remains a profound sekret to this day. When the femail goose iz at work hatching, she iz a hard bird tew please; she riles clear up from the bottom in a minnit, and will fight a yoke ov oxen, if they show her the least bit ov sass. The geese iz excellent for feathers, which she sheds every year by the handful. They are also amphibicuss, besides several other kinds ov cuss. But they are mostly cureiss about one thing: they kan haul one leg up into their body, and stand on tuther, awl day, and not tutch ennything with their hands. I take notis, thare ain’t but darn few men kan dew this. “THE CLAM.” The clam iz a bulbous plant, and resides on the under side ov the water. He iz born az the birds are, but don’t cum out ov his shell. He iz deserted by his parents at a young and tender age, but don’t bekum clamarous on this akount, but sits still, and keeps watch with hiz mouth, for sumthin tew cum along. Hiz temper iz sed tew be cold and clammy, but he must hav a relish for sumthing, for hiz mouth waters aul the time. Thare iz nothing more docile than the clam, and altho they sumtimes git into a stew, they are az eazy tew lay yure hand on, and ketch, az a stun, but they are like an injun, not very talky; they hav got an impediment in their noize; their lips open with too much titeness, and their mouth iz tew full ov tongue tew be glib. Clams were fust diskovered, az the meazles waz, by being caught. How long a clam kan live I don’t beleaf they kan tell themselfs, probably 5 thousand years, but a large share ov this time iz wasted; a clam’s time aint worth mutch, only tew grow tuff in; it is jiss so with sum other folks I kno ov. SNAILS, SNAIKS, AND BABYS. The slowest gaited animal on the face ov the earth iz the snail. They are one ov the phew who take their house with them, when they go away from home. Snails are sed tew be delikate eating, but if i kan hav all the hash i want, i will try and struggle along without any snail. You kant phool me with hash, I kno how that iz made, but i don’t kno how snail are put together. Ignorance iz sed tew be bliss, and i hav often thought that it waz, and if i don’t never kno how snails taste, i don’t think now i shall repent ov it. It haz always been a source ov mutch doubt with me, in mi hours ov contemplashun, which waz made fust, the snail or hiz shell, but if i don’t know even this, i don’t mean tew git mad about it. [Illustration]