In the dark, still nite, when every thing iz az noizeless az a pair ov empty slippers, to hear one at the further end ov the room slowly but surely working hiz way up to yu, singing that same hot old sissing tune ov theirs, and harking to feel the exackt spot on yure face whare they intend tew lokate, iz simply premeditated sorrow tew me; i had rather look forward to the time when an elephant waz going tew step onto me. The musketo haz no friends, and but phew associates; even a mule dispizes them. But i hav seen human beings who want aktually afraid ov them; i hav seen pholks who had rather hav a muskeeter lite onto them than to have a trakt peddler lite onto them; i hav seen pholks who were so tuff aginst anguish that a muskeeter mite lite onto them enny whare and plunge their dagger in up tew the hilt in vain. I envy these people their moral stamina, for next tew being virtewous i would like tew be tuff. This life iz phull ov pesky muskeetos, who are alwus a looking for a job, alwus reddy tew stik a thissell into yu sum whare, and sing while they are doing it. Dear Mr. ----, pardon me for saying so mutch about the cursid muskeeto, but ov all things on this arth that travel, or set still, for deviltry, thare aint enny bug, enny beast, or enny beastess, that i dred more, and luv less, than i do this same little gray wretch, called cursid muskeeter. THE HORNET. The hornet is an inflamibel bugger, sudden in hiz impresshuns and hasty in hiz conclusion, or end. Hiz natral disposishun iz a warm cross between red pepper in the pod and fusil oil, and hiz moral bias iz, “git out ov mi way.” They hav a long, black boddy, divided in the middle bi a waist spot, but their phisikal importance lays at the terminus ov their subburb, in the shape ov a javelin. This javelin iz alwas loaded, and stands reddy to unload at a minnit’s warning, and enters a man az still az thought, az spry az litening, and az full ov melankolly az the toothake. Hornets never argy a case; they settle awl ov their differences ov opinyun bi letting their javelin fly, and are az certain tew hit az a mule iz. This testy kritter lives in congregations numbering about one hundred souls, but whether they are male and female, or conservative, or matched in bonds ov wedlock, or whether they are Mormons, and a good menny ov them klub together and keep one husband tew save expense, i dont kno nor dont kare. I never hav examined their habits mutch, i never considered it helthy. Hornets bild their nests whenever they take a noshun to, and seldom are disturbed, for what would it profit a man tew kill 99 hornets and hav the one hundredth one hit him with hiz javelin? They bild their nests ov paper, without enny windows to them or back doors. They hav but one place ov admission, and the nest iz the shape ov an overgrown pine-apple, and iz cut up into just az menny bedrooms az thare iz hornets.