Bad behavior the laws cannot reach. Society is infested with rude,
cynical, restless, and frivolous persons who prey upon the rest, and
whom, a public opinion concentrated into good manners, forms accepted by
the sense of all, can reach:—the contradictors and railers at public and
private tables, who are like terriers, who conceive it the duty of a dog
of honor to growl at any passer-by, and do the honors of the house by
barking him out of sight:—I have seen men who neigh like a horse when
you contradict them, or say something which they do not understand:—then
the overbold, who make their own invitation to your hearth; the
persevering talker, who gives you his society in large, saturating
doses; the pitiers of themselves,—a perilous class; the frivolous
Asmodeus, who relies on you to find him in ropes of sand to twist; the
monotones; in short, every stripe of absurdity;—these are social
inflictions which the magistrate cannot cure or defend you from, and
which must be intrusted to the restraining force of custom, and
proverbs, and familiar rules of behavior impressed on young people in
their school-days.
In the hotels on the banks of the Mississippi, they print, or used to
print, among the rules of the house, that "no gentleman can be permitted
to come to the public table without his coat;" and in the same country,
in the pews of the churches, little placards plead with the worshipper
against the fury of expectoration. Charles Dickens self-sacrificingly
undertook the reformation of our American manners in unspeakable
particulars. I think the lesson was not quite lost; that it held bad
manners up, so that the churls could see the deformity. Unhappily, the
book had its own deformities. It ought not to need to print in a
reading-room a caution to strangers not to speak loud; nor to persons
who look over fine engravings, that they should be handled like cobwebs
and butterflies’ wings; nor to persons who look at marble statues, that
they shall not smite them with canes. But, even in the perfect
civilization of this city, such cautions are not quite needless in the
Athenæum and City Library.
Manners are factitious, and grow out of circumstance as well as out of
character. If you look at the pictures of patricians and of peasants,
of different periods and countries, you will see how well they match the
same classes in our towns. The modern aristocrat not only is well drawn
in Titian’s Venetian doges, and in Roman coins and statues, but also in
the pictures which Commodore Perry brought home of dignitaries in Japan.
Broad lands and great interests not only arrive to such heads as can
manage them, but form manners of power. A keen eye, too, will see nice
gradations of rank, or see in the manners the degree of homage the party
is wont to receive. A prince who is accustomed every day to be courted
and deferred to by the highest grandees, acquires a corresponding
expectation, and a becoming mode of receiving and replying to this
homage.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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