I answered the telephone. To my surprise it was Miss Emily herself, a
quiet and very dignified voice which apologized for disturbing me at
that hour, and went on:
"I feel that I was very abrupt this afternoon, Miss Blakiston. My excuse
is that I have always feared change. I have lived in a rut too long, I'm
afraid. But of course, if you feel you would like to move the telephone,
or put in an upstairs instrument, you may do as you like."
She seemed, having got me there, unwilling to ring off. I got a curious
effect of reluctance over the telephone, and there was one phrase that
she repeated several times.
"I do not want to influence you. I want you to do just what you think
best."
The fear was entirely gone by the time she rang off. I felt, instead, a
sort of relaxation that was most comforting. The rear hall, a cul-de-sac
of nervousness in the daytime and of horror at night, was suddenly
transformed by the light of my lamp into a warm and cheerful refuge from
the darkness of the lower floor. The purring of the cat, comfortably
settled on the telephone-stand, was as cheering as the singing of a
kettle on a stove. On the rack near me my garden hat and an old Paisley
shawl made a grotesque human effigy.
I sat back in the low wicker chair and surveyed the hallway. Why not, I
considered, do away now with the fear of it? If I could conquer it like
this at midnight, I need never succumb again to it in the light.
The cat leaped to the stand beside me and stood there, waiting. He was
an intelligent animal, and I am like a good many spinsters. I am not
more fond of cats than other people, but I understand them better. And
it seemed to me that he and I were going through some familiar program,
of which a part had been neglected. The cat neither sat nor lay, but
stood there, waiting.
So at last I fetched the shawl from the rack and made him a bed on
the stand. It was what he had been waiting for. I saw that at once. He
walked onto it, turned around once, lay down, and closed his eyes.
I took up my vigil. I had been the victim of a fear I was determined to
conquer. The house was quiet. Maggie had retired shriveled to bed. The
cat slept on the shawl.
And then--I felt the fear returning. It welled up through my
tranquillity like a flood, and swept me with it. I wanted to shriek. I
was afraid to shriek. I longed to escape. I dared not move. There had
been no sound, no motion. Things were as they had been.
It may have been one minute or five that I sat there. I do not know.
I only know that I sat with fixed eyes, not even blinking, for fear of
even for a second shutting out the sane and visible world about me. A
sense of deadness commenced in my hands and worked up my arms. My chest
seemed flattened.
Then the telephone bell rang.
The cat leaped to his feet. Somehow I reached forward and took down the
receiver.
"Who is it?" I cried, in a voice that was thin, I knew, and unnatural.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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