There was a gap of thirty years in my knowledge of the family. I had,
indeed, forgotten its very existence, when by the chance of a newspaper
advertisement I found myself involved vitally in its affairs, playing
providence, indeed, and both fearing and hating my role. Looking back,
there are a number of things that appear rather curious. Why, for
instance, did Maggie, my old servant, develop such a dislike for the
place? It had nothing to do with the house. She had not seen it when she
first refused to go. But her reluctance was evident from the beginning.
"I've just got a feeling about it, Miss Agnes," she said. "I can't
explain it, any more than I can explain a cold in the head. But it's
there."
At first I was inclined to blame Maggie's "feeling" on her knowledge
that the house was cheap. She knew it, as she has, I am sure, read all
my letters for years. She has a distrust of a bargain. But later I came
to believe that there was something more to Maggie's distrust--as though
perhaps a wave of uneasiness, spreading from some unknown source, had
engulfed her.
Indeed, looking back over the two months I spent in the Benton house, I
am inclined to go even further. If thoughts carry, as I am sure they do,
then emotions carry. Fear, hope, courage, despair--if the intention of
writing a letter to an absent friend can spread itself half-way across
the earth, so that as you write the friend writes also, and your letters
cross, how much more should big emotions carry? I have had sweep over
me such waves of gladness, such gusts of despair, as have shaken me.
Yet with no cause for either. They are gone in a moment. Just for an
instant, I have caught and made my own another's joy or grief.
The only inexplicable part of this narrative is that Maggie, neither a
psychic nor a sensitive type, caught the terror, as I came to call it,
before I did. Perhaps it may be explainable by the fact that her mental
processes are comparatively simple, her mind an empty slate that shows
every mark made on it.
In a way, this is a study in fear.
Maggie's resentment continued through my decision to use the house,
through the packing, through the very moving itself. It took the form
of a sort of watchful waiting, although at the time we neither of
us realized it, and of dislike of the house and its surroundings. It
extended itself to the very garden, where she gathered flowers for the
table with a ruthlessness that was almost vicious. And, as July went
on, and Miss Emily made her occasional visits, as tiny, as delicate as
herself, I had a curious conclusion forced on me. Miss Emily returned
her antagonism. I was slow to credit it. What secret and even
unacknowledged opposition could there be between my downright Maggie and
this little old aristocrat with her frail hands and the soft rustle of
silk about her?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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