"It is the first time in my life that I have seen such a girl, and I am
ashamed."
"What are you ashamed of? I am not sitting naked." And she laughed low
and caressingly.
"Not on your account," I answered. "I am ashamed on my own
account--because of my stupidity."
And I told her frankly my opinion of her class of girls. She listened
quietly and attentively.
"There are various kinds among us," she said. "There may be some who
are even worse than you think. You believe people altogether too
readily."
I could not get the thought out of my head how such a girl could sell
herself, and I asked her again: "Do you do it from necessity?"
"At first," she answered, "I was deceived by a handsome young fellow.
To spite him I got another one, and so I fell into the play. And now it
happens many times that I do it for the sake of a piece of bread."
She said it quite simply and there was no pity for herself in her words.
"Do you go to church?" I asked.
She started and became red all over. "The way to the church is
forbidden to no one."
I felt that I had offended her and added hurriedly:
"You misunderstood me. I know the gospels; I know of Mary Magdalene and
of the sinner through whom the Pharisees tempted Christ. I only wished
to ask you whether you were not angered against God for the life that
you were leading; whether you did not doubt His goodness."
She frowned again, remained thoughtful, and said, surprised:
"I do not know what God has to do with it."
"How then?" I asked. "Is He not our Shepherd and our Father in whose
mighty hand the destiny of man rests?"
And she answered: "I do no harm to people. What am I guilty of? And
whom can it hurt that I lead an unclean life? Only myself."
I felt that she wished to say something good and true, but I could not
understand her.
"I alone am responsible for my sins," she said, bowing to me and her
whole face lighting up in a smile. "Besides, my sins do not appear so
great. Perhaps what I am saying is not quite right, but I am speaking
the truth. I go to church gladly. Our church has just been built, and
it is so bright and sweet. And how our choir sings! Sometimes they
touch the heart, so that I must weep. In the church the soul gets a
rest from all worries."
She remained silent for some time, and then added:
"Of course, there are other reasons. The men see you there."
I was so astounded by what she said that she told me I had drops of
sweat standing on my temples. I could not understand how all these
things came together in her so simply and harmoniously.
"Did you love your wife very much?" she asked me.
"Yes, very much," I answered, and her naïveté? pleased me more and more.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account