The Confession of a Child of the CenturyMusset, Alfred de
General
The Confession of a Child of the Century
Musset, Alfred de
French fiction; Historical fiction
"My aunt is dead," she said; "I lose the only one left me on earth, I am
now alone in the world and I am going to leave the country."
"Am I, then, nothing to you?"
"Yes, my friend; you know that I love you, and I often believe that you
love me. But how can I count on you? I am your mistress, alas! but you
are not my lover. It is for you that Shakespeare has written these sad
words: 'Make thy doublet of changeable taffeta, for thy mind is a very
opal.' And I, Octave," she added, pointing to her mourning costume, "I am
reduced to a single color, and I shall not change it for a long time."
"Leave the country if you choose; I will either kill myself or I will
follow you. Ah! Brigitte," I continued, throwing myself on my knees
before her, "you thought you were alone when your aunt died! That is the
most cruel punishment you could inflict on me; never, have I so keenly
felt the misery of my love for you. You must retract those terrible
words; I deserve them, but they will kill me. O God! can it be true that
I count for nothing in your life, or that I am an influence in your life
only because of the evil I have done you!"
"I do not know," she said, "who is busying himself in our affairs;
certain insinuations, mixed with idle gossip, have been set afloat in the
village and in the neighboring country. Some say that I have been ruined;
others accuse me of imprudence and folly; others represent you as a cruel
and dangerous man. Some one has spied into our most secret thoughts;
things that I thought no one else knew, events in your life and sad
scenes to which they have led, are known to others; my poor aunt spoke to
me about it some time since, and she knew it some time before speaking to
me. Who knows but what that has hastened her death? When I meet my old
friends in the street, they either treat me coldly, or turn aside, even
my dear peasant girls, those good girls who love me so much, shrug their
shoulders when they see my place empty at the Sunday afternoon balls. How
has that come about? I do not know, nor do you, I suppose; but I must go
away, I can not endure it. And my aunt's death, so sudden, so unexpected,
above all this solitude! this empty room! Courage fails me; my friend, my
friend, do not abandon me!"
She wept; in an adjoining room, I saw her household goods in disorder, a
trunk on the floor, everything indicating preparations for departure. It
was evident that, at the time of her aunt's death, Brigitte tried to go
away without seeing me but could not. She was so overwhelmed with emotion
that she could hardly speak, her condition was pitiful, and it was I who
had brought her to it. Not only was she unhappy, but she was insulted in
public, and the man who ought to be her support and her consolation in
such an hour, was the cause of all her troubles.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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