The Confession of a Child of the CenturyMusset, Alfred de
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The Confession of a Child of the Century
Musset, Alfred de
French fiction; Historical fiction
In front of me in the gallery, sat a young man whose face was not unknown
to me. As often happens when one is preoccupied, I looked at him without
thinking of him as a personal identity or trying to fit a name on him.
Suddenly, I recognized him: it was he, who had brought letters to
Brigitte from N-----. I arose and started to accost him without thinking
what I was doing. He occupied a place that I could not reach without
disturbing a large number of spectators and I was forced to await the
entr'acte.
My first thought was that if any one could enlighten me it was this young
man. He had had several interviews with Madame Pierson the last few days,
and I recalled the fact that she was always much depressed after his
visits. He had seen her the morning of the day she was taken ill. The
letters he brought Brigitte had not been shown me; it was possible that
he knew the reason why our departure was delayed. Perhaps he did not know
all the circumstances, but he could, doubtless, enlighten me as to the
contents of those letters, and there was no reason why I should hesitate
about questioning him. When the curtain fell, I followed him to the
foyer; I do not know that he saw me coming, but he hastened away and
entered a box. I determined to wait until he should come out, and stood
looking at the box for fifteen minutes. At last, he appeared. I bowed and
approached him. He hesitated a moment, then turned and disappeared down a
stairway.
My desire to speak to him had been too evident to admit of any other
explanation than deliberate intention to avoid me on his part. He surely
knew my face, and whether he knew it or not, a man who sees another
approaching him, ought, at least, to wait for him. We were the only ones
in the corridor at the time and there could be no doubt he did not wish
to speak to me. I did not dream of such impertinent treatment from a man,
whom I had cordially received at my apartments; why should he insult me?
He could have no other excuse than a desire to avoid an awkward
interview, during which questions might be asked, which he did not care
to answer. But why? This second mystery troubled me almost as much as the
first. Although I tried to drive the thought from my head, that young
man's action in avoiding me seemed to have some connection with
Brigitte's obstinate silence.
Uncertainty is of all torments, the most difficult to endure, and during
my life I have exposed myself to many dangers because I could not wait
patiently. When I returned to my apartments, I found Brigitte reading
those same fateful letters from N-----. I told her that I could not
remain longer in suspense, and that I wished to be relieved from it at
any cost; that I desired to know the cause of the sudden, change which
had taken place in her, and that if she refused to speak I would look
upon her silence as a positive refusal to go abroad with me and an order
for me to leave her forever.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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