The Confession of a Child of the CenturyMusset, Alfred de
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The Confession of a Child of the Century
Musset, Alfred de
French fiction; Historical fiction
She reluctantly handed me the letters she was reading. Her relatives had
written her that her departure had disgraced them, that every one knew
the circumstances, and that they felt it their duty to warn her of the
consequences; that she was living openly as my mistress, and that,
although she was a widow and free to do as she chose, she ought to think
of the name she bore; that neither they nor her old friends would ever
see her again if she persisted in her course; finally, by all sorts of
threats and entreaties, they urged her to return.
The tone of that letter angered me, and at first I took it as an insult.
"And that young man who brings you these remonstrances," I cried,
"doubtless has orders to deliver them personally, and does not fail to do
his own part to the best of his ability. Am I not right?"
Brigitte's dejection made me reflect and calm my wrath.
"You will do as you wish, and achieve my ruin," she said. "My fate rests
with you, you have been for a long time my master. Avenge as you please
the last effort my old friends have made to recall me to reason, to the
world that I formerly respected, to the honor that I have lost. I have
not a word to say, and if you wish to dictate my reply, I will obey you."
"I care to know nothing," I replied, "but your intentions; it is for me
to comply with your wishes, and I assure you I am ready to do it. Tell
me, do you desire to remain, to go away, or shall I go alone?"
"Why that question?" asked Brigitte; "have I said that I had changed my
mind? I am unwell and can not travel in my present condition, but when I
recover we will go to Geneva as we have planned."
We separated at these words, and the coldness with which she had
expressed her resolution saddened me more than a refusal. It was not the
first time our liaison had been threatened by her relatives; but up to
this time, whatever letters Brigitte, had received she had never taken so
much to heart. How could I bring myself to believe that Brigitte had been
so affected by protests which, in less happy moments, had had no effect
on her? Could it be merely the weakness of a woman who recoils from an
act of final significance? I will do as you please, she had said. No, it
does not please me to demand patience, and rather than look at that
sorrowful face even a week longer, unless she speaks, I will set out
alone.
Fool that I was! Had I the strength to do it? I did not close my eyes
that night, and the next morning I resolved to call on that young man I
had seen at the Opera. I do not know whether it was wrath or curiosity
that impelled me to this course, nor did I know just what I desired to
learn of him; but I reflected that he could not avoid me this time, and
that was all I wanted.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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