The Confession of a Child of the CenturyMusset, Alfred de
General
The Confession of a Child of the Century
Musset, Alfred de
French fiction; Historical fiction
"What!" I muttered, "leave that for another! Die, descend into the
ground, while that bosom heaves with the air of heaven? Just God! another
hand than mine on that fine, transparent skin! Another mouth on those
lips, another love in that heart! Brigitte happy, loving, adored, and I
in a corner of the cemetery, crumbling into dust in a ditch! How long
will it take her to forget me if I cease to exist to-morrow? How many
tears will she shed? None, perhaps! Not a friend who speaks to her but
will say that my death was a good thing. Who will not hasten to console
her, who will not urge her to forget me! If she weeps, they will seek to
distract her attention from her loss; if memory haunts her, they will
take her away; if her love for me survives me, they will seek to cure her
as though she had been poisoned; and she herself, who will perhaps at
first say that she desires to follow me, will a month later turn aside to
avoid the weeping-willow planted over my grave! How could it be
otherwise? Who as beautiful as she wastes life in idle regrets? If she
should think of dying of grief that beautiful bosom would urge her to
live, and her glass would persuade her; and the day when her exhausted
tears give place to the first smile, who will not congratulate her on her
recovery? When, after eight days of silence, she consents to hear my name
pronounced in her presence, then she will speak of it herself as though
to say: 'Console me;' then little by little she will no longer refuse to
think of the past but will speak of it, and she will open her window some
beautiful spring morning when the birds are singing in the garden; she
will become pensive and say: 'I have loved!' Who will be there at her
side? Who will dare to tell her that she must continue to love? Ah! then
I will be no more! You will listen to him, faithless one! You will blush
as does the budding rose and the blood of youth will mount to your face.
While saying that your heart is sealed, you will allow it to escape
through that fresh aureole of beauty, each ray of which allures a kiss.
How much they desire to be loved who say they love no more! And why
should that astonish you? You are a woman; that body, that spotless
bosom, you know what they are worth; when you conceal them under your
dress you do not believe, as do the virgins, that all are alike, and you
know the price of your modesty. How can the woman who has been praised
resolve to be praised no more? Does she think she is living when she
remains in the shadow and there is silence round about her beauty? Her
beauty itself is the admiring glance of her lover. No, no, there can be
no doubt of it; who has loved, can not live without love; who has seen
death, clings to life. Brigitte loves me and will perhaps die of love; I
will kill myself and another will have her."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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