The Confession of a Child of the CenturyMusset, Alfred de
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The Confession of a Child of the Century
Musset, Alfred de
French fiction; Historical fiction
"Another, another!" I repeated, bending over her until my head touched
her shoulder. "Is she not a widow? Has she not already seen death? Have
not these little hands prepared the dead for burial? Her tears for the
second will not flow as long as those shed for the first. Ah! God forgive
me! While she sleeps why should I not kill her? If I should awaken her
now and tell her that her hour had come and that we were going to die
with a last kiss, she would consent. What does it matter? Is it certain
that all does not end with that?"
I found a knife on the table and I picked it up.
"Fear, cowardice, superstition! What do they know about it who talk of
something else beyond? It is for the ignorant, common people that a
future life has been invented, but who really believes in it? What
watcher in the cemetery has seen Death leave his tomb and hold
consultation with a priest? In olden times there were fantoms; they are
interdicted by the police in civilized cities and no cries are now heard
issuing from the earth except from those buried in haste. Who has
silenced death if it has ever spoken? Because funeral processions are no
longer permitted to encumber our streets, does the celestial spirit
languish? To die, that is the final purpose, the end. God has established
it, man discusses it; but over every door is written: 'Do what thou wilt,
thou shalt die.' What will be said if I kill Brigitte? Neither of us will
hear. In to-morrow's journal would appear the intelligence that Octave de
T----- had killed his mistress, and the day after no one would speak of
it. Who would follow us to the grave? No one who, upon returning to his
home, could not enjoy a hearty dinner; and when we were extended side by
side in our narrow bed, the world could walk over our graves without
disturbing us. Is it not true, my well-beloved, is it not true that it
would be well with us? It is a soft bed, that bed of earth; no suffering
can reach us there; the occupants of the neighboring tombs will not
gossip about us; our bones will embrace in peace and without pride, for
death is solace, and that which binds does not also separate. Why should
annihilation frighten thee, poor body, destined to corruption? Every hour
that strikes drags thee on to thy doom, every step breaks the round on
which thou hast just rested; thou art nourished by the dead; the air of
heaven weighs upon and crushes thee, the earth on which thou treadest
attacks thee by the soles of thy feet. Down with thee! Why art thou
affrighted? Dost thou tremble at a word? Merely say: 'We will not live.'
Is not life a burden that we long to lay down? Why hesitate when it is
merely a question of a little sooner or a little later? Matter is
indestructible, and the physicists, we are told, grind to infinity the
smallest speck of dust without being able to annihilate it. If matter is
the property of chance, what harm can it do to change its form since it
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