The Confession of a Child of the CenturyMusset, Alfred de
General
The Confession of a Child of the Century
Musset, Alfred de
French fiction; Historical fiction
But for some strange reason, whenever I thought of it I was seized with
an irresistible feeling of fear; the idea of an avowal was enough to
render me serious in the midst of gaiety. I conceived the idea of writing
to her, but burned the letters before half finished.
That evening I dined with her, and looked about me at the many evidences
of a tranquil life; I thought of the quiet life that I was leading, of my
happiness since I had known her, and said to myself: "Why ask for more?
Does not this suffice? Who knows, perhaps God has nothing more for you?
If I should tell her that I love her, what would happen? Perhaps she
would forbid me the pleasure of seeing her. Would I, in speaking the
words, make her happier than she is to-day? Would I be happier myself?"
I was leaning on the piano, and, as I indulged in these reflections,
sadness took possession of me. Night was coming on and she lighted a
candle; while returning to her seat she noticed a tear in my eye.
"What is the matter?" she asked.
I turned aside my head.
I sought an excuse, but could find none; I was afraid to meet her glance.
I arose and stepped to the window. The air was balmy, the moon was rising
beyond those lindens where I had first met her. I fell into a profound
reverie; I even forgot that she was present and, extending my arms toward
heaven, a sob welled up from my heart.
She arose and stood behind me.
"What is it?" she again asked.
I replied that the sight of that valley, stretching out beneath us, had
recalled my father's death; I took leave of her and went out.
Why I decided to silence my love I can not say. Nevertheless, instead of
returning home, I began to wander about the woods like a fool. Whenever I
found a bench I sat down and then jumped up precipitately. Toward
midnight I approached Madame Pierson's house; she was at the window.
Seeing her there I began to tremble and tried to retrace my steps, but I
was fascinated; I advanced gently and sadly and sat down beneath her
window.
I do not know whether she recognized me; I had been there some time when
I heard her sweet, fresh voice singing the refrain of a romance, and at
the same instant a flower fell on my shoulder. It was a rose she had worn
that evening on her bosom; I picked it up and bore it to my lips.
"Who is there at this hour? Is it you?"
She called me by name. The gate leading into the garden was open; I arose
without replying and entered it, I stopped before a plot of grass in the
center of the garden; I was walking like a somnambulist, without knowing
what I was doing.
Suddenly I saw her at the door opening into the garden; she seemed to be
undecided and looked attentively at the rays of the moon. She made a few
steps toward me and I advanced to meet her. I could not speak, I fell on
my knees before her and seized her hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account