The Confession of a Child of the Century — CompleteMusset, Alfred de
General
The Confession of a Child of the Century — Complete
Musset, Alfred de
France -- Fiction; French fiction -- Translations into English; Historical fiction
Toward midnight, while sleeping restlessly, I seemed to hear in my
dreams a profound sigh. I opened my eyes and saw my mistress standing
near my bed with arms crossed, looking like a spectre. I could not
restrain a cry of fright, believing it to be an apparition conjured up
by my diseased brain. I leaped from my bed and fled to the farther end
of the room; but she followed me.
“It is I!” said she; putting her arms around me, she drew me to her.
“What do you want of me?” I cried. “Leave, me! I fear I shall kill you!”
“Very well, kill me!” she said. “I have deceived you, I have lied to
you, I am an infamous wretch and I am miserable; but I love you, and I
can not live without you.”
I looked at her; how beautiful she was! Her body was quivering; her
eyes were languid with love and moist with voluptuousness; her bosom was
bare, her lips were burning. I raised her in my arms.
“Very well,” I said, “but before God who sees us, by the soul of my
father, I swear that I will kill you and that I will die with you.”
I took a knife from the table and placed it under the pillow.
“Come, Octave,” she said, smiling and kissing me, “do not be foolish.
Come, my dear, all these horrors have unsettled your mind; you are
feverish. Give me that knife.”
I saw that she wished to take it.
“Listen to me,” I then said; “I do not know what comedy you are playing,
but as for me I am in earnest. I have loved you as only man can love,
and to my sorrow I love you still. You have just told me that you love
me, and I hope it is true; but, by all that is sacred, if I am your
lover to-night, no one shall take my place tomorrow. Before God, before
God,” I repeated, “I would not take you back as my mistress, for I hate
you as much as I love you. Before God, if you wish to stay here to-night
I will kill you in the morning.”
When I had spoken these words I fell into a delirium. She threw her
cloak over her shoulders and fled from the room.
When I told Desgenais about it he said:
“Why did you do that? You must be very much disgusted, for she is a
beautiful woman.”
“Are you joking?” I asked. “Do you think such a woman could be my
mistress? Do you think I would ever consent to share her with another?
Do you know that she confesses that another attracts her, and do you
expect me, loving her as I do, to share my love? If that is the way you
love, I pity you.”
Desgenais replied that he was not so particular.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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