The Confession of a Child of the Century — CompleteMusset, Alfred de
General
The Confession of a Child of the Century — Complete
Musset, Alfred de
France -- Fiction; French fiction -- Translations into English; Historical fiction
“And I--I do not sleep,” I continued, pacing up and down the street, “I
do not sleep, I who have enough in my pocket at this moment to purchase
sleep for a year. I am so proud and so foolish that I dare not enter
a tavern, and it seems I do not understand that if unfortunates enter
there, it is to come out happy. O God! grapes crushed beneath the foot
suffice to dissipate the deepest sorrow and to break the invisible
threads that the fates weave about our pathway. We weep like women, we
suffer like martyrs; in our despair it seems that the world is crumbling
under our feet, and we sit down in tears as did Adam at Eden’s gate.
And to cure our griefs we have but to make a movement of the hand and
moisten our throats. How contemptible our sorrow since it can be thus
assuaged! We are surprised that Providence does not send angels to grant
our prayers; it need not take the trouble, for it has seen our woes,
it knows our desires, our pride and bitterness, the ocean of evil that
surrounds us, and is content to hang a small black fruit along our
paths. Since that man sleeps so soundly on his bench, why do not I sleep
on mine? My rival is doubtless passing the night with my mistress; he
will leave her at daybreak; she will accompany him to the door and they
will see me asleep on my bench. Their kisses will not awaken me, and
they will shake me by the shoulder; I will turn over on the other side
and sleep on.”
Thus, inspired by fierce joy, I set out in quest of a tavern. As it was
past midnight some were closed; this put me in a fury. “What!” I cried,
“even that consolation is refused me!” I ran hither and thither knocking
at the doors of taverns, crying: “Wine! Wine!”
At last I found one open; I called for a bottle, and without caring
whether it was good or bad, I gulped it down; a second followed, and
then a third. I dosed myself as with medicine, and forced the wine down
as if it had been prescribed by some physician to save my life.
The heavy fumes of the liquor, doubtless adulterated, mounted to
my head. As I had gulped it down at a breath, drunkenness seized me
promptly; I felt that I was becoming muddled, then I experienced a lucid
moment, then confusion followed. Then consciousness left me, I leaned my
elbows on the table and said adieu to myself.
But I had a confused idea that I was not alone in the tavern. At the
other end of the room stood a hideous group with haggard faces and harsh
voices. Their dress indicated that they belonged to the poorer class,
but were not bourgeois; in short, they belonged to that ambiguous class,
the vilest of all, which has neither fortune nor occupation, which never
works except at some criminal plot, a class which, neither poor nor
rich, combines the vices of one with the misery of the other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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