The Confession of a Child of the Century — Volume 1Musset, Alfred de
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The Confession of a Child of the Century — Volume 1
Musset, Alfred de
France -- Fiction; French fiction -- Translations into English; Historical fiction
They were quarrelling over a dirty pack of cards. Among them was a girl
who appeared to be very young and very pretty, was decently clad, and
resembled her companions in no way, except in the harshness of her voice,
which was as rough and broken as if it had performed the office of public
crier. She looked at me closely, as if astonished to see me in such a
bad place, for I was elegantly attired. Little by little she approached
my table and seeing that all the bottles were empty, smiled. I saw that
she had fine teeth of brilliant whiteness; I took her hand and begged her
to be seated; she consented with good grace and asked what we should have
for supper.
I looked at her without saying a word, while my eyes began to fill with
tears; she observed my emotion and inquired the cause. I could not
reply. She understood that I had some secret sorrow and forebore any
attempt to learn the cause; with her handkerchief she dried my tears from
time to time as we dined.
There was something about this girl at once repulsive and sweet,
a singular boldness mingled with pity, that I could not understand.
If she had taken my hand in the street she would have inspired a feeling
of horror in me; but it seemed so strange that a creature I had never
seen should come to me, and, without a word, proceed to order supper and
dry my tears with her handkerchief, that I was rendered speechless;
it revolted, yet charmed me. What I had done had been done so quickly
that I seemed to have obeyed some impulse of despair. Perhaps I was a
fool, or the victim of some supernatural caprice.
"Who are you?" I suddenly cried out; "what do you want of me? How do
you know who I am? Who told you to dry my tears? Is this your vocation
and do you think I desire you? I would not touch you with the tip of my
finger. What are you doing here? Reply at once. Is it money you want?
What price do you put on your pity?"
I arose and tried to go out, but my feet refused to support me. At the
same time my eyes failed me, a mortal weakness took possession of me and
I fell over a stool.
"You are not well," she said, taking me by the arm, "you have drunk, like
the child that you are, without knowing what you were doing. Sit down in
this chair and wait until a cab passes. You will tell me where you live
and I will order the driver to take you home to your mother, since," she
added, "you really find me ugly."
As she spoke I raised my eyes. Perhaps my drunkenness deceived me, or
perhaps I had not seen her face clearly before, but suddenly I detected
in that unfortunate girl a fatal resemblance to my mistress. I shuddered
at the sight. There is a certain shudder that affects the hair; some say
it is death passing over the head, but it was not death that passed over
mine.
It was the malady of the age, or rather was it that girl herself; and it
was she who, with her pale, halfmocking features and rasping voice, came
and sat with me at the end of the tavern room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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