The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers" — John Shaqi
The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"Train, Arthur Cheney
General
The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"
Train, Arthur Cheney
Attorney and client -- Fiction; Legal stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
The reader will notice that I did not technically hold myself out
as a lawyer in these contracts, and merely agreed to furnish counsel.
Thus I flattered myself I was keeping on the lee side of the law.
Gottlieb settled the case of the boy for twelve hundred dollars,
and we divided six hundred between us, and the other cases that
came in the first month netted us three hundred dollars apiece
more. The future began to look bright enough, as I had to distribute
as commissions only two hundred dollars, which left me a gross
profit of four hundred dollars. With this I secured fifty new
contracts, and after paying the second installments upon all the
first I pocketed as a net result two hundred and fifty dollars
cash. I now had a growing business at my back, finding it necessary
to employ an office assistant, and accordingly selected for that
purpose an old actor who was no longer able to walk the boards,
but who still retained the ability to speak his part. For a weekly
wage of ten dollars this elderly gentleman agreed to sit in my
office and hold forth upon my ability, shrewdness, and learning to
all such as called in my absence. In the afternoons I assumed
charge myself and sent him forth armed with contracts to secure
new allies.
My business soon increased to such an extent that it bid fair to
take up all my time, and the bookkeeping end of it, with its
complicated division of receipts, proved not a little difficult.
The amazement of my friend Gottlieb knew no bounds, but as it was
a profitable arrangement for him he asked no questions and remained
in ignorance as to the source of my stream of clients, until one
of his friends, to whom my assistant had made application, showed
him one of the contracts. That night he sent for me to come to
his office, and after offering me a very large and exceedingly good
Havana cigar delivered himself as follows:
"Harkee, Quib, you are more of a fellow than I took you for. You
have more cleverness than any man of your years in my acquaintance
at the bar. This scheme of yours, now, it's a veritable gold mine.
Not but that anybody could make use of it. It can't be patented,
you know. But it's excellently devised; no one will deny that.
What do you say to a partnership, eh? On the same terms?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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