The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"Train, Arthur Cheney
General
The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"
Train, Arthur Cheney
Attorney and client -- Fiction; Legal stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
Siddons Kelly was the superannuated actor of whom I have already
spoken, and when he was not, so to speak, in drink he was an
invaluable person. He had followed the stage all his life, but he
was of the sort that tear passion to tatters and he had never risen
above third-rate parts. In every respect save declamation he had
all the elegances and charm of manner that the stage can give, and
he would receive and bow out a scrubwoman who had fallen down a
flight of back stairs and wanted to make the landlord pay for her
broken head with a grace truly Chesterfieldian. This was all very
fine until he had taken a drop too much, when his vocabulary would
swell to such dimensions that the confused and embarrassed client
would flee in self-protection unless fortunate enough to be rescued
by Gottlieb or myself. Poor Kelly! He was a fine old type. And
many a client then and later was attracted to my office by his
refined and intellectual old face with its locks of silky gray.
An old bachelor, he died alone one night in his little boarding-
house with a peaceful smile on his wrinkled face. He lies in
Greenwood Cemetery. Over him is a simple stone--for which I paid
--bearing, as he had requested, only the words:
SIDDONS KELLEY
AN ACTOR
As may well be supposed, my professional career uptown was vastly
more entertaining than my experiences at Haight & Foster's. My
afternoons were filled with a constant procession of clients of
all ages, sexes, colors, and conditions. As the business grew and
greater numbers of persons signed our contracts and received their
honorarium of a dollar a month, a constantly increasing percentage
of criminal or semi-criminal cases came to the office. Of course
there was no better criminal lawyer than Gottlieb in the city, and
before long the criminals outnumbered our civil clients. At the
same time I noticed a tendency on the part of the civil business
to fall off, the reason for this probably being that my partner
was known only as a criminal attorney. Now, I began to dislike
the idea of paying a dollar a month to induce people to refer
business to us, and indeed I found that the disbursement of five
or six hundred dollars every four weeks for this purpose was no
trifling matter. Accordingly I decided to try letting them go for
a month or so, but business fell off to such an alarming extent
that I almost immediately resumed the contract system, merely
reducing its proportions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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