The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"Train, Arthur Cheney
General
The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"
Train, Arthur Cheney
Attorney and client -- Fiction; Legal stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
The criminal attorney, therefore, whether he be called to see his
client at the Tombs or in the police station, or is consulted in
his own office, at once informs the latter that he is indeed in a
parlous state. He demonstrates to him conclusively that there
exist but a few steps between him and the gallows, or at least the
State's prison, and that his only hope lies in his procuring at
once sufficient money to--first, get out on bail; second, buy off
the witnesses; third, "fix" the police; fourth, "square" the judge;
and lastly, pay the lawyer. Even where the prisoner has no money
himself, his family are usually ready to do what they can to get
him off, in order to save themselves from the disgrace of being
related to a convict. It is not what may actually happen to your
client, but what he thinks may happen, that makes him ready and
anxious to give up his money. Thus, the more artistic the practitioner
in painting the dire consequences which will result if the family
of the offender does not come to his rescue the quicker and larger
will be the response. Time also is necessary to enable the ancestral
stocking to be grudgingly withdrawn from its hiding-place and its
contents disgorged, or to allow the pathetic representations of
his nearer relatives to work upon the callous heart of old Uncle
John, who once held a city office and has thus plenty of money.
The object of the lawyer being to hang on to the client until he
has got his money, it follows that if the latter is locked up in
jail it is all the better for the lawyer, unless it be expedient
to let him out to raise funds. Thus criminal attorneys are not,
as a rule, particularly anxious to secure the release of a client
from jail. Solitary confinement increases his apprehension and
discomfort and renders him more complacent about paying well for
liberty. The English king who locked up the money-lender and had
one of his teeth drawn out each day until he made the desired loan
knew his business. Once the fellow is out of jail--pfft! He is
gone, and neither the place nor you know him more. Very likely
also he will jump his bail and you will have to make good your
bond. One client in jail is worth two at large.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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