The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"Train, Arthur Cheney
General
The Confessions of Artemas Quibble: Being the Ingenuous and Unvarnished History of Artemas Quibble, Esquire, One-Time Practitioner in the New York Criminal Courts, Together with an Account of the Divers Wiles, Tricks, Sophistries, Technicalities, and Sundry Artifices of Himself and Others of the Fraternity, Commonly Yclept "Shysters" or "Shyster Lawyers"
Train, Arthur Cheney
Attorney and client -- Fiction; Legal stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
After giving his name, age, and profession, he detailed how he had
prepared the papers in the original case of Hawkins _versus_ Hawkins
and served them upon the defendant personally at the Astor House.
"I handed them to Mr. Hawkins myself and explained them to him.
He was dressed very much as he is now," cried Bunce.
"Do you positively identify this gentleman on your oath as the
person you served with the summons and complaint?" inquired Gottlieb
as if the matter were merely one of routine.
"Absolutely!" retorted Bunce hotly. "I could identify him anywhere
by the shape of his nose. I took especial pains to remark his
appearance in case the service should ever be disputed."
"Thank you. That is all," said Gottlieb. Then turning to the
stranger he directed him to take the stand.
"What is your name?" he asked sternly.
"Aaron Finkelstein--as you know very well, Mr. Gottlieb," answered
the stranger.
"Do you recognize this gentleman who has just testified?" indicating
Bunce.
"As far as I know I never saw him in my life," answered Finkelstein.
"Did he ever serve you with any papers--in the Astor House or
anywhere else?"
"Never."
"What is your business?"
"I am an undertaker."
In an instant the room was in a turmoil, Bunce screaming out that
he had been tricked by a parcel of shysters, Gottlieb indignantly
defending his ruse as a perfectly proper method of discrediting
Bunce, and the referee vainly endeavoring to restore order. As
for myself, in spite of my anxiety over the whole affair, I could
not do otherwise than laugh heartily over Bunce's ludicrous mistake.
When Hawkins was brought in from outside, and, after proclaiming
his identity, denied ever being served in the original action, the
referee was but little inclined to listen to Lawyer Bunce, who now
corrected his testimony and swore just as insistently that the real
Hawkins was the person to whom he had given the papers in the case.
Here, then, was as pretty a trick as had ever been played upon an
unsuspecting and well-meaning lawyer; and by it Gottlieb had so
strengthened our position that, very likely, the referee would have
found for our side even had not Hawkins taken it upon himself to
swear the matter through. Moreover, the only person who could have
disproved the latter's testimony or given evidence that might have
militated against its probability--to wit, Crookshank, his former
attorney--was dead and buried, and it seemed as if truth were buried
with him. On the way back to our office I congratulated my partner
on the Napoleonic strategy which he had displayed and a few days
later a more substantial compliment followed, in the shape of an
unqualified finding in our favor on the part of the referee.
"Was ever thirty-five thousand dollars earned so easily!" laughed
Gottlieb over his cigar as we were dining at Delmonico's.
"So long as Hawkins stays bought--yes," I answered.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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