The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer — CompleteLever, Charles
General
The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer — Complete
Lever, Charles
Fiction
As luck would have it, this was a company night in the boarding-house.
Various young ladies in long blue sashes, and very broad ribbon
sandals, paraded the rooms, chatting gaily with very distinguished
looking young gentlemen, with gold brooches, and party-coloured inside
waistcoats; sundry elderly ladies sat at card-tables, discussing the
“lost honour by an odd trick they played,” with heads as large as those
of Jack or Jill in the pantomime; spruce clerks in public offices,
(whose vocation the expansive tendency of the right ear, from long
pen-carrying, betokened) discussed fashion, “and the musical glasses”
to some very over-dressed married ladies, who preferred flirting to
five-and-ten. The tea-table, over which the amiable hostess presided,
had also its standing votaries: mostly grave parliamentary-looking
gentlemen, with powdered heads, and very long-waisted black coats,
among whom the Sir Oracle was a functionary of his Majesty’s High Court
of Chancery, though I have reason to believe, not, Lord Manners:
meanwhile, in all parts of the room might be seen Blue Peter,
distributing tea, coffee, and biscuit, and occasionally interchanging a
joke with the dwellers in the house. While all these pleasing
occupations proceeded, the hour of Cudmore’s trial was approaching. The
tea-pot which had stood the attack of fourteen cups without flinching,
at last began to fail, and discovered to the prying eyes of Mrs.
Clanfrizzle, nothing but an olive-coloured deposit of soft matter,
closely analogous in appearance and chemical property to the residuary
precipitate in a drained fish-pond; she put down the lid with a gentle
sigh and turning towards the fire bestowed one of her very blandest and
most captivating looks on Mr. Cudmore, saying—as plainly as looks could
say—“Cudmore, you’re wanting.” Whether the youth did, or did not
understand, I am unable to record: I can only say, the appeal was made
without acknowledgment. Mrs. Clanfrizzle again essayed, and by a little
masonic movement of her hand to the tea-pot, and a sly glance at the
hob, intimated her wish—still hopelessly; at last there was nothing for
it but speaking; and she donned her very softest voice, and most
persuasive tone, saying—
“Mr. Cudmore, I am really very troublesome: will you permit me to ask
you?”—
“Is it for the kettle, ma’am?” said Cudmore, with a voice that startled
the whole room, disconcerting three whist parties, and so absorbing the
attention of the people at loo, that the pool disappeared without any
one being able to account for the circumstance.
“Is it for the kettle, ma’am?”
“If you will be so very kind,” lisped the hostess.
“Well, then, upon my conscience, you are impudent,” said Cudmore, with
his face crimsoned to the ears, and his eyes flashing fire.
“Why, Mr. Cudmore,” began the lady, “why, really, this is so strange.
Why sir, what can you mean?”
“Just that,” said the imperturbable jib, who now that his courage was
up, dared every thing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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