The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer — Volume 2Lever, Charles
General
The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer — Volume 2
Lever, Charles
Fiction
It happened that in Mrs. Clanfrizzle's establishment, the "enfant bleu,"
already mentioned, was the only individual of his sex retained; and
without for a moment disparaging the ability or attentions of this gifted
person, yet it may reasonably be credited, that in waiting on a party of
twenty-five or thirty persons at dinner, all of whom he had admitted as
porter, and announced as maitre d'hotel, with the subsequent detail of
his duties in the drawing-room, that Peter, blue Peter--his
boarding-house soubriquet--not enjoying the bird-like privilege of
"being in two places at once," gave one rather the impression of a
person of hasty and fidgetty habits--for which nervous tendency the
treatment he underwent was certainly injudicious--it being the
invariable custom for each guest to put his services in requisition,
perfectly irrespective of all other claims upon him, from whatsoever
quarter coming--and then, at the precise moment that the luckless valet
was snuffing the candles, he was abused by one for not bringing coal; by
another for having carried off his tea-cup, sent on an expedition for
sugar; by a third for having left the door open, which he had never been
near; and so on to the end of the chapter.
It chanced that a few evenings previous to my appearance at the house,
this indefatigable Caleb was ministering as usual to the various and
discrepant wants of the large party assembled in the drawing-room. With
his wonted alacrity he had withdrawn from their obscure retreat against
the wall, sundry little tables, destined for the players at whist, or
"spoil five"--the popular game of the establishment. With a dexterity
that savoured much of a stage education, he had arranged the candles, the
cards, the counters; he had poked the fire, settled the stool for Miss
Riley's august feet, and was busily engaged in changing five shillings
into small silver for a desperate victim of loo--when Mrs. Clanfrizzle's
third, and, as it appeared, last time, of asking for the kettle smote
upon his ear. His loyalty would have induced him at once to desert every
thing on such an occasion; but the other party engaged, held him fast,
saying--
"Never mind HER, Peter--you have sixpence more to give me."
Poor Peter rummaged one pocket, then another--discovering at last three
pence in copper, and some farthings, with which he seemed endeavouring to
make a composition with his creditor for twelve shillings in the pound;
when Mrs. Clan's patience finally becoming exhausted, she turned towards
Mr. Cudmore, the only unemployed person she could perceive, and with her
blandest smile said,
"Mr. Cudmore, may I take the liberty of requesting you would hand me the
kettle beside you."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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