The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer — Volume 2 — John Shaqi
The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer — Volume 2Lever, Charles
General
The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer — Volume 2
Lever, Charles
Fiction
As luck would have it, this was a company night in the boarding-house.
Various young ladies in long blue sashes, and very broad ribbon sandals,
paraded the rooms, chatting gaily with very distinguished looking young
gentlemen, with gold brooches, and party-coloured inside waistcoats;
sundry elderly ladies sat at card-tables, discussing the "lost honour by
an odd trick they played," with heads as large as those of Jack or Jill
in the pantomime; spruce clerks in public offices, (whose vocation the
expansive tendency of the right ear, from long pen-carrying, betokened)
discussed fashion, "and the musical glasses" to some very over-dressed
married ladies, who preferred flirting to five-and-ten. The tea-table,
over which the amiable hostess presided, had also its standing votaries:
mostly grave parliamentary-looking gentlemen, with powdered heads,
and very long-waisted black coats, among whom the Sir Oracle was a
functionary of his Majesty's High Court of Chancery, though I have reason
to believe, not, Lord Manners: meanwhile, in all parts of the room might
be seen Blue Peter, distributing tea, coffee, and biscuit, and
occasionally interchanging a joke with the dwellers in the house. While
all these pleasing occupations proceeded, the hour of Cudmore's trial was
approaching. The tea-pot which had stood the attack of fourteen cups
without flinching, at last began to fail, and discovered to the prying
eyes of Mrs. Clanfrizzle, nothing but an olive-coloured deposit of soft
matter, closely analogous in appearance and chemical property to the
residuary precipitate in a drained fish-pond; she put down the lid with
a gentle sigh and turning towards the fire bestowed one of her very
blandest and most captivating looks on Mr. Cudmore, saying--as plainly
as looks could say--"Cudmore, you're wanting." Whether the youth did,
or did not understand, I am unable to record: I can only say, the appeal
was made without acknowledgment. Mrs. Clanfrizzle again essayed, and by
a little masonic movement of her hand to the tea-pot, and a sly glance at
the hob, intimated her wish--still hopelessly; at last there was nothing
for it but speaking; and she donned her very softest voice, and most
persuasive tone, saying--
"Mr. Cudmore, I am really very troublesome: will you permit me to ask
you?"--
"Is it for the kettle, ma'am?" said Cudmore, with a voice that startled
the whole room, disconcerting three whist parties, and so absorbing the
attention of the people at loo, that the pool disappeared without any one
being able to account for the circumstance.
"Is it for the kettle, ma'am?"
"If you will be so very kind," lisped the hostess.
"Well, then, upon my conscience, you are impudent," said Cudmore, with
his face crimsoned to the ears, and his eyes flashing fire.
"Why, Mr. Cudmore," began the lady, "why, really, this is so strange.
Why sir, what can you mean?"
"Just that," said the imperturbable jib, who now that his courage was up,
dared every thing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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