The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer — Volume 2 — John Shaqi
The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer — Volume 2Lever, Charles
General
The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer — Volume 2
Lever, Charles
Fiction
This clever epistle sufficed to show me that the gallant __th had gone
clean theatrical mad; and although from my "last appearance on any
stage," it might be supposed I should feel no peculiar desire to repeat
the experiment, yet the opportunity of joining during Col. Carden's
absence, was too tempting to resist, and I at once made up my mind to
set out, and, without a moment's delay, hurried across the street to
the coach office, to book myself an inside in the mail of that night;
fortunately no difficulty existed in my securing the seat, for the
way-bill was a perfect blank, and I found myself the only person who had,
as yet, announced himself a passenger. On returning to my hotel, I found
O'Flaherty waiting for me; he was greatly distressed on hearing my
determination to leave town--explained how he had been catering for my
amusement for the week to come--that a picnic to the Dargle was arranged
in a committee of the whole house, and a boating party, with a dinner at
the Pigeon-house, was then under consideration; resisting, however, such
extreme temptations, I mentioned the necessity of my at once proceeding
to headquarters, and all other reasons for my precipitancy failing,
concluded with that really knock-down argument, "I have taken my place;"
this, I need scarcely add, finished the matter--at least I have never
known it fail in such cases. Tell your friends that your wife is hourly
expecting to be confined; your favourite child is in the measles--you
best friend waiting your aid in an awkward scrape--your one vote only
wanting to turn the scale in an election. Tell them, I say, each or all
of these, or a hundred more like them, and to any one you so speak, the
answer is--"Pooh, pooh, my dear fellow, never fear--don't fuss yourself
--take it easy--to-morrow will do just as well." If, on the other hand,
however, you reject such flimsy excuses, and simply say, "I'm booked in
the mail," the opposition at once falls to the ground, and your quondam
antagonist, who was ready to quarrel with you, is at once prepared to
assist in packing your portmanteau.
Having soon satisfied my friend Tom that resistance was in vain, I
promised to eat an early dinner with him at Morrisson's, and spent the
better part of the morning in putting down a few notes of my Confessions,
as well as the particulars of Mr. Daly's story, which, I believe, I half
or wholly promised my readers at the conclusion of my last chapter; but
which I must defer to a more suitable opportunity, when mentioning the
next occasion of my meeting him on the southern circuit.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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