The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — CompleteRousseau, Jean-Jacques
Philosophy
The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Complete
Rousseau, Jean-Jacques
Authors, French -- 18th century -- Biography; Rousseau, Jean-Jacques, 1712-1778
As they paid but little attention to my trifling talents, and supposed
I possessed no more than nature had given me, there was no appearance
(notwithstanding the promises of Count de Gauvon) of my meeting with
any particular consideration. Some objects of more consequence had
intervened. The Marquis de Breil, son of the Count de Gauvon, was then
ambassador at Vienna; some circumstances had occurred at that court
which for some weeks kept the family in continual agitation, and left
them no time to think of me. Meantime I had relaxed but little in my
attentions, though one object in the family did me both good and harm,
making me more secure from exterior dissipation, but less attentive to
my duty.
Mademoiselle de Breil was about my own age, tolerably handsome, and
very fair complexioned, with black hair, which notwithstanding, gave
her features that air of softness so natural to the flaxen, and which my
heart could never resist. The court dress, so favorable to youth, showed
her fine neck and shape to advantage, and the mourning, which was then
worn, seemed to add to her beauty. It will be said, a domestic should
not take notice of these things; I was certainly to blame, yet I
perceived all this, nor was I the only one; the maitre d’ hotel and
valet de chambre spoke of her sometimes at table with a vulgarity that
pained me extremely. My head, however, was not sufficiently turned
to allow of my being entirely in love; I did not forget myself, or
my situation. I loved to see Mademoiselle de Breil; to hear her utter
anything that marked wit, sense, or good humor: my ambition, confined to
a desire of waiting on her, never exceeded its just rights. At table I
was ever attentive to make the most of them; if her footman quitted
her chair, I instantly supplied his place; in default of this, I stood
facing her, seeking in her eyes what she was about to ask for, and
watching the moment to change her plate. What would I not have given to
hear her command, to have her look at, or speak the smallest word to me!
but no, I had the mortification to be beneath her regard; she did not
even perceive I was there. Her brother, who frequently spoke to me
while at table, having one day said something which I did not consider
obliging, I made him so arch and well-turned an answer, that it drew her
attention; she cast her eyes upon me, and this glance was sufficient
to fill me with transport. The next day, a second occasion presented
itself, which I fortunately made use of. A great dinner was given; and I
saw, with astonishment, for the first time, the maitre d’ hotel waiting
at table, with a sword by his side, and hat on his head. By chance, the
discourse turned on the motto of the house of Solar, which was, with
the arms, worked in the tapestry: ‘Tel fiert qui ne fue pas’. As the
Piedmontese are not in general very perfect in the French language, they
found fault with the orthography, saying, that in the word fiert there
should be no ‘t’.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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