The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — CompleteRousseau, Jean-Jacques
Philosophy
The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Complete
Rousseau, Jean-Jacques
Authors, French -- 18th century -- Biography; Rousseau, Jean-Jacques, 1712-1778
The old Count de Gauvon was going to reply, when
happening to cast his eyes on me, he perceived I smiled without daring
to say anything; he immediately ordered me to speak my opinion. I then
said, I did not think the ‘t’ superfluous, ‘fiert’ being an old French
word, not derived from the noun ‘ferus’, proud, threatening; but from
the verb ‘ferit’, he strikes, he wounds; the motto, therefore, did not
appear to mean, some threat, but, ‘Some strike who do not kill’. The
whole company fixed their eyes on me, then on each other, without
speaking a word; never was a greater degree of astonishment; but what
most flattered me, was an air of satisfaction which I perceived on the
countenance of Mademoiselle de Breil. This scornful lady deigned to cast
on me a second look at least as valuable as the former, and turning to
her grandfather, appeared to wait with impatience for the praise
that was due to me, and which he fully bestowed, with such apparent
satisfaction, that it was eagerly chorused by the whole table. This
interval was short, but delightful in many respects; it was one of those
moments so rarely met with, which place things in their natural order,
and revenge depressed merit for the injuries of fortune. Some minutes
after Mademoiselle de Breil again raised her eyes, desiring me with
a voice of timid affability to give her some drink. It will easily be
supposed I did not let her wait, but advancing towards her, I was seized
with such a trembling, that having filled the glass too full, I spilled
some of the water on her plate, and even on herself. Her brother asked
me, giddily, why I trembled thus? This question increased my confusion,
while the face of Mademoiselle de Breil was suffused with a crimson
blush.
Here ended the romance; where it may be remarked (as with Madam Basile,
and others in the continuation of my life) that I was not fortunate in
the conclusion of my amours. In vain I placed myself in the antechamber
of Madam de Breil, I could not obtain one mark of attention from her
daughter; she went in and out without looking at me, nor had I the
confidence to raise my eyes to her; I was even so foolishly stupid, that
one day, on dropping her glove as she passed, instead of seizing and
covering it with kisses, as I would gladly have done, I did not dare
to quit my place, but suffered it to be taken up by a great booby of a
footman, whom I could willingly have knocked down for his officiousness.
To complete my timidity, I perceived I had not the good fortune to
please Madam de Breil; she not only never ordered, but even rejected, my
services; and having twice found me in her antechamber, asked me, dryly,
“If I had nothing to do?” I was obliged, therefore, to renounce this
dear antechamber; at first it caused me some uneasiness, but other
things intervening, I presently thought no more of it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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