The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Volume 03Rousseau, Jean-Jacques
Philosophy
The Confessions of Jean Jacques Rousseau — Volume 03
Rousseau, Jean-Jacques
Authors, French -- 18th century -- Biography; Rousseau, Jean-Jacques, 1712-1778
The first glance of Madam de Warrens banished all my fears--my heart
leaped at the sound of her voice; I threw myself at her feet, and in
transports of the most lively joy, pressed my lips upon her hand.
I am ignorant whether she had received any recent information of me.
I discovered but little surprise on her countenance, and no sorrow.
"Poor child!" said she, in an affectionate tone, "art thou here again?
I knew you were too young for this journey; I am very glad, however, that
it did not turn out so bad as I apprehended." She then made me recount
my history; it was not long, and I did it faithfully: suppressing only
some trifling circumstances, but on the whole neither sparing nor
excusing myself.
The question was, where I could lodge: she consulted her maid on this
point--I hardly dared to breathe during the deliberation; but when I
heard I was to sleep in the house, I could scarce contain my joy; and saw
the little bundle I brought with me carried into my destined apartment
with much the same sensations as St. Preux saw his chaise put up at Madam
de Wolmar's. To complete all, I had the satisfaction to find that this
favor was not to be transitory; for at a moment when they thought me
attentive to something else, I heard Madam de Warrens say, "They may talk
as they please, but since Providence has sent him back, I am determined
not to abandon him."
Behold me, then, established at her house; not, however, that I date the
happiest days of my life from this period, but this served to prepare me
for them. Though that sensibility of heart, which enables us truly to
enjoy our being, is the work of Nature, and perhaps a mere effect of
organization, yet it requires situations to unfold itself, and without a
certain concurrence of favorable circumstances, a man born with the most
acute sensibility may go out of the world without ever having been
acquainted with his own temperament. This was my case till that time,
and such perhaps it might have remained had I never known Madam de
Warrens, or even having known her, had I not remained with her long
enough to contract that pleasing habit of affectionate sentiments with
which she inspired me. I dare affirm, that those who only love, do not
feel the most charming sensations we are capable of: I am acquainted with
another sentiment, less impetuous, but a thousand times more delightful;
sometimes joined with love, but frequently separated from it. This
feeling is not simply friendship; it is more enchanting, more tender; nor
do I imagine it can exist between persons of the same sex; at least I
have been truly a friend, if ever a man was, and yet never experienced it
in that kind. This distinction is not sufficiently clear, but will
become so hereafter: sentiments are only distinguishable by their
effects.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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