_Lady L._ You're a fool, child; observe this, that though a woman swear, forswear, lie, dissemble, backbite, be proud, vain, malicious, any thing, if she secures the main chance, she's still virtuous; that's a maxim. _Parly._ I can't be persuaded, though, madam, but that you really loved Sir Harry Wildair in Paris. _Lady L._ Of all the lovers I ever had, he was my greatest plague, for I could never make him uneasy: I left him involved in a duel upon my account: I long to know whether the fop be killed or not. _Enter_ COLONEL STANDARD. Oh lord! no sooner talk of killing, but the soldier is conjured up. You're upon hard duty, colonel, to serve your king, your country, and a mistress too. _Colonel S._ The latter, I must confess, is the hardest; for in war, madam, we can be relieved in our duty; but in love, he, who would take our post, is our enemy; emulation in glory is transporting, but rivals here intolerable. _Lady L._ Those that bear away the prize in arms, should boast the same success in love; and, I think, considering the weakness of our sex, we should make those our companions who can be our champions. _Colonel S._ I once, madam, hoped the honour of defending you from all injuries, through a title to your lovely person; but now my love must attend my fortune. My commission, madam, was my passport to the fair; adding a nobleness to my passion, it stamped a value on my love; 'twas once the life of honour, but now its winding sheet; and with it must my love be buried. _Parly._ What? disbanded, Colonel? _Colonel S._ Yes, Mrs. Parly. _Parly._ Faugh, the nauseous fellow! he stinks of poverty already. [_Aside._ _Lady L._ His misfortune troubles me, because it may prevent my designs. [_Aside._ _Colonel S._ I'll chuse, madam, rather to destroy my passion by absence abroad, than have it starved at home. _Lady L._ I'm sorry, sir, you have so mean an opinion of my affection, as to imagine it founded upon your fortune. And, to convince you of your mistake, here I vow, by all that's sacred, I own the same affection now as before. Let it suffice, my fortune is considerable. _Colonel S._ No, madam, no; I'll never be a charge to her I love! The man, that sells himself for gold, is the worst of prostitutes. _Lady L._ Now, were he any other creature but a man, I could love him. [_Aside._ _Colonel S._ This only last request I make, that no title recommend a fool, no office introduce a knave, nor red coat a coward, to my place in your affections; so farewell my country, and adieu my love. [_Exit._ _Lady L._ Now the devil take thee for being so honourable: here, Parly, call him back, I shall lose half my diversion else. Now for a trial of skill. _Enter_ COLONEL STANDARD. Sir, I hope you'll pardon my curiosity. When do you take your journey?