The Constant Couple; Or, A Trip to the Jubilee: A Comedy, in Five ActsFarquhar, George
General
The Constant Couple; Or, A Trip to the Jubilee: A Comedy, in Five Acts
Farquhar, George
Comedy plays; English drama (Comedy)
_Ang._ What madness, Sir Harry, what wild dream of loose desire, could
prompt you to attempt this baseness?--View me well----the brightness of
my mind, methinks, should lighten outwards, and let you see your mistake
in my behaviour.
_Sir H._ [_Mimicking._] Tal tidum, tidum, tal ti didi didum. A million
to one, now, but this girl is just come flush from reading the Rival
Queens----'Egad, I'll at her in her own cant--Oh, my Statira! Oh, my
angry dear! turn thy eyes on me--behold thy beau in buskins.
_Ang._ Behold me, sir; view me with a sober thought, free from those
fumes of wine that throw a mist before your sight, and you shall find
that every glance from my reproaching eyes is armed with sharp
resentment, and with a virtuous pride that looks dishonour dead.
_Sir H._ This is the first whore in heroics that I have met with.
[_Aside._] Lookye, madam, as to that slender particular of your virtue,
we sha'n't quarrel about it; you may be as virtuous as any woman in
England, if you please. But, pray, madam, be pleased to consider, what
is this same virtue that you make such a mighty noise about--Can your
virtue keep you a coach and six? No, no; your virtuous women walk on
foot.--Can your virtue stake for you at picquet? No. Then what business
has a woman with virtue? Come, come, madam, I offered you fifty guineas;
there's a hundred----The devil!--virtuous still!--Why, it is a hundred,
five score, a hundred guineas.
_Ang._ Oh, indignation! Were I a man, you durst not use me thus. But the
mean, poor abuse you throw on me, reflects upon yourself: our sex still
strikes an awe upon the brave, and only cowards dare affront a woman.
_Sir H._ Affront! 'Sdeath, madam, a hundred guineas will set you up a
bank at basset; a hundred guineas will furnish out your closet with
china; a hundred guineas will give you an air of quality; a hundred
guineas will buy you a rich cabinet for your billet-doux, or a fine
Common Prayer Book for your virtue; a hundred guineas will buy a hundred
fine things, and fine things are for fine ladies, and fine ladies are
for fine gentlemen, and fine gentlemen are----'Egad, this Burgundy makes
a man speak like an angel----Come, come, madam, take it, and put it to
what use you please.
_Ang._ I'll use it as I would the base unworthy giver, thus----
[_Throws down the Purse, and stamps upon it._
_Sir H._ I have no mind to meddle in state affairs; but these women
will make me a parliament-man in spite of my teeth, on purpose to
bring in a bill against their extortion. She tramples under foot that
deity which all the world adores--Oh, the blooming pride of beautiful
eighteen!--Pshaw!--I'll talk to her no longer; I'll make my market
with the old gentlewoman; she knows business better----[_Goes to
the Door._]--Here, you, friend: pray, desire the old lady to walk
in----Harkye, 'egad, madam, I'll tell your mother.
_Enter_ LADY DARLING.
_Lady D._ Well, Sir Harry, and how d'ye like my daughter, pray?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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