_Clinch. sen._ Sir, you cannot master me, for I am twenty thousand strong. [_Exeunt, struggling._ SCENE III. LADY DARLING'S _House_. _Enter_ SIR H. WILDAIR, _with Cards_; SERVANTS _following_. _Sir H._ Here, fly all around, and bear these as directed; you to Westminster, you to St. James's, and you into the city. Tell all my friends, a bridegroom's joy invites their presence. Tell them, I am married. If any ask to whom, make no reply; but tell them, that I am married; that joy shall crown the day, and love the night. Begone, fly. _Enter_ COLONEL STANDARD. A thousand welcomes, friend; my pleasure's now complete, since I can share it with my friend: brisk joy shall bound from me to you; then back again; and, like the sun, grow warmer by reflection. _Colonel S._ You are always pleasant, Sir Harry; but this transcends yourself: whence proceeds it? _Sir H._ Canst thou not guess, my friend? Whence flows all earthly joy? What is the life of man, and soul of pleasure? Woman.----What fires the heart with transport, and the soul with raptures?--Lovely woman----What is the master-stroke and smile of the creation, but charming, virtuous woman?--Methinks, my friend, you relish not my joy. What is the cause? _Colonel S._ Canst thou not guess?--What is the bane of man, and scourge of life, but woman?--What is the heathenish idol man sets up, and is damned for worshipping? Treacherous woman.--Woman, whose composition inverts humanity; their bodies heavenly, but their souls are clay. _Sir H._ Come, come, colonel, this is too much: I know your wrongs received from Lurewell may excuse your resentment against her. But it is unpardonable to charge the failings of a single woman upon the whole sex. I have found one, whose virtues---- _Colonel S._ So have I, Sir Harry; I have found one whose pride's above yielding to a prince. And if lying, dissembling, perjury, and falsehood, be no breaches in a woman's honour, she is as innocent as infancy. _Sir H._ Well, colonel, I find your opinion grows stronger by opposition; I shall now, therefore, wave the argument, and only beg you for this day to make a show of complaisance at least.--Here comes my charming bride. _Enter_ LADY DARLING _and_ ANGELICA. _Colonel S._ [_Saluting_ ANGELICA.] I wish you, madam, all the joys of love and fortune. _Enter_ CLINCHER JUNIOR. _Clinch. jun._ Gentlemen and ladies, I'm just upon the spur, and have only a minute to take my leave. _Sir H._ Whither are you bound, sir? _Clinch. jun._ Bound, sir! I'm going to the Jubilee, sir. _Lady D._ Bless me, cousin! how came you by these clothes? _Clinch. jun._ Clothes! ha! ha! ha! the rarest jest! ha! ha! ha! I shall burst, by Jupiter Ammon--I shall burst. _Lady D._ What's the matter, cousin? _Clinch. jun._ The matter! ha! ha! Why, an honest porter, ha! ha! ha! has knocked out my brother's brains--ha! ha! ha! _Sir H._ A very good jest, i'faith--ha! ha! ha!