The Continental Monthly, Vol. 1, No. 1, January 1862: Devoted to Literature and National PolicyVarious
History
The Continental Monthly, Vol. 1, No. 1, January 1862: Devoted to Literature and National Policy
Various
Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; United States -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Periodicals
'And we, albeit poor, will lavish gold out of the bag, and weigh silver
in the balance, and hire a goldsmith, who shall bedeck them exceeding
fine, so that the princes and potentates shall fall down before them,
yea, shall worship.
'Then, when our great embassy cometh, and the princes inquire of the
blockade, lo, our messengers shall laugh and say, "Go to!--it is naught,
it hath passed away, and is bosh."'
'"Are we not here, ready to declare the end from the beginning, and
from ancient times, even of CALHOUN, the things that are not
yet done, saying, 'our counsel shall stand?' Verily, it takes us, and we
are the original Jacobs, having no connection with the bogus concern
over the way."
'And they shall cotton to us, and we unto them; and we will trade our
tobacco for their wines, and _Pro Baccho Tobacco_ shall be written in
all the high places.'
CHAPTER II.
Now JEFFERSON, whose surname should have been Brick, but that
it was not, seeing that it was DAVIS.
Saw the counsel that it was good.
And having seen it, and set his eyes upon the egg which their wisdom had
hatched, and pronounced it a good egg;
Chose him of his chief men two, whereof the like were not to be
found--no, not in all the North, and in the South was not their equal.
Whereof the first was a MASON, the like of whom was not known,
not in the land of Huram of old, nor among the Hittites or the dwellers
by the sea.
For he was like unto a turkey-cock, stuck up and of excessive pride,
spreading himself and strutting vehemently from the rising of the sun
even unto the going down of the same; ineffably great in his own
conceit, swelling in vanity, puffed up like a bladder even nigh unto
bursting;
So that the little ones in the market-place cried after him, 'Big
Injiun, heap big!'
And the other was a 'little' New Yorker, even a renegade of the North,
one who had backslidden from the ways of his fathers, and that right
ill. Wherefore he was called SLIDE-ILL. Howbeit some termed him
SLY-DEAL, from his dealings both with cards and with men.
But it came to pass that they called him SLIDELL, forasmuch as
that he was one who naturally took the whole ell, whether one gave him
an inch or no.
Now they packed their trunks, and took unto them 'poor EUSTIS,'
and many others equally talented and important.
Not forgetting their wives, neither their man-servants nor their
maid-servants, their wines nor their cigars.
Howbeit they took not with them the bonds of the Confederacy, lest the
Paris shop-keepers should say, 'Go to--it is naught;'
But divers eagles and dimes, stolen afore-time from UNCLE SAM,
took they. Likewise bills of exchange and circular letters of credit
upon certain of the Jews.
And so they went down unto the sea in ships,--even in a
steam-ship,--sailing to the Havana, where she was unladed of her burden.
CHAPTER III.
[THE SONG OF REJOICING.]
Now when the ambassadors, and they which bore the words of the king, had
sailed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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