The Continental Monthly , Vol. 2 No. 5, November 1862: Devoted to Literature and National PolicyVarious
History
The Continental Monthly , Vol. 2 No. 5, November 1862: Devoted to Literature and National Policy
Various
Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; United States -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Periodicals
To what an illimitable enterprise does the vastness of our plans lead
us! Long vistas open before our eyes, with fine prospects for patronage
and the gift of many offices. It is at least equal in dignity and
grandeur to the city government, and nothing prevents its becoming a
vast scheme of corruption, except that it never can, by any possibility,
possess a penny of revenue. Of course there should be a committee of
repairs and supplies, and one of immigration, the latter to provide for
the naturalization of foreign words and their proper treatment before
they could take care of themselves; the former for furnishing a supply
to meet the growing demand mentioned at the beginning of this article,
and for patching up several of the most obvious imperfections we now
suffer from. We want a word for _the opposite of a compliment_. Not that
this is as great a defect as the lack of the word _compliment_ would be
in these smooth-spoken times, but still the want is felt, and the
feeling is shown by such awkward expedients as the expression 'a
left-handed compliment.' Then, besides, they might give the seal of
legitimacy to a fine lot of words and phrases, the need of which is
shown by their being spontaneously invented, and universally adopted by
the vulgar; but which are not classic, have never been written except in
caricature, and are therefore inadmissible to the writings of us
cowardly fellows who 'do' the current literature. For instance: the word
_onto_, to bear the same relation to _on_ and _upon_, that the word
_into_ does to _in_ and _within_, has no synonyme, and if we had once
adopted it, we should be surprised at our own self-denial in having had
it so long in our ears without taking it for the use of our mouths and
pens.
The judiciary department should have full power to try _all_ defilers of
the well of English, be they these offenders we have been talking
of--spendthrifts and drunkards in the use of its strong waters--or be
they punsters, or be they the latest development of miscreants, the
_transposers_. To the punsters shall be adjudged a perpetual strabismus,
that they may look two ways at once, forever--always seeing double with
their bodily eyes, as they have been in the habit of doing with their
mental ones. Even so to the transposer. Let him be inverted, and hung by
the heels till _healed_ of his disorder.
If this idea of an association is seized upon, I should be happy to
suggest well-qualified persons for all the offices _except_ the highest.
The most appropriate incumbent for that, modesty forbids my mentioning.
But the matter must not be let drop. Unless there can be some check put
to the present extravagance, we shall all take to _swearing_, for I am
sure that is the first step beyond it.
STEWART, AND THE DRY GOODS TRADE OF NEW YORK.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account