The Continental Monthly, Vol. 5, No. 2, February, 1864: Devoted To Literature And National PolicyVarious
History
The Continental Monthly, Vol. 5, No. 2, February, 1864: Devoted To Literature And National Policy
Various
Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals; United States -- Politics and government -- 19th century -- Periodicals
Or clouds or rocks or winds or waves, the mutable or the unchangeable
was in turn the theme of our reproductive praise. There were
transfigurations on the mountain tops, where the spirit of the universe
wore shining garbs and hailed us, their Interpreters. From every wave
stretched Undine arms to greet us, and tongues of flame taught us the
glories of the element.
Sometimes in giddy pauses shone sad eyes--yet not reproachful on me; but
if I sighed in answer to their shining, Aspiro dazzled in betwixt me and
my memory, and bade me 'cease not striving,' while her white finger
pointed farther onward. For our love-life was a striving, and life's
best porcelain was like common clay for fashioning vessels for its use.
I gave up all to her, time, talent, ingenuity. Studying for her caprices
and struggling for her pleasure. How fair she seemed, how worthy any
effort! If only I might hope that I, at last, should wholly win her
approbation and make our union indissoluble. Her radiant smiles, and
lofty, loving words, were hard to win, but then, when won--! Who ever
looked and spoke and smiled as did Aspiro?
There was neither rest nor dalliance on our way. Unrest lit meteors in
the heaven of my mistress's eyes, and I lost, at length, the delusion
that I should ever satisfy all her imperious exactions. Then I hoped to
make but some one thought or deed quite worthy of her favor, even to the
sacrifice of my life.
I strove my utmost in the Art we loved. The strife consumed the dross of
daily, petty hopes and fears, which make the happiness of common lives,
and left my soul a crucible receptive for refinement only; and Aspiro
tempted me to new endeavors by glimpses of the court which Nature holds,
wearing Dalmatian mantle and spray-bright crown, in realms forbidden
mortals.
'I thought, for my sake,' she would say, sadly,'you had already done
something better than you have.'
If my soul sickened then, my courage did not falter, nor did her
incentive beauty lose any of its charm.
I said: 'Give me a task, Aspiro, and I will please you yet.'
Then she pointed to me what I might do, and my work began.
In this work I reproduced my mistress's beauty and my love's
significance. Having learned the language of nature, I translated from
her hieroglyphic pages in characters of flame. With rash hands I
stripped false seemings from material beauty, and limned the naked
divinity of Idea. Shorn by degrees in my strife of youth and strength
and passion, I wound them in my work--toiling like paltry larvae. And it
was done--retouched and lingered over long, apotheosized by mighty
effort. So I offered it to my Fate.
Never before, as at that moment, had Aspiro seemed so worthy to be won
at any cost. I trembled as I laid my work before her--she so transcended
Beauty. But still I hoped. I waited for her dawning smile and
outstretched hand, ready to die of attained longing when these should be
bestowed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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