What, Mary, always singing doleful ditties, and moping over these plaguy books. MARIA I hope, Sir, that it is not criminal to improve my mind with books, or to divert my melancholy with singing, at my leisure hours. VAN ROUGH Why, I don't know that, child; I don't know that. They us'd to say, when I was a young man, that if a woman knew how to make a pudding, and to keep herself out of fire and water, she knew enough for a wife. Now, what good have these books done you? have they not made you melancholy? as you call it. Pray, what right has a girl of your age to be in the dumps? haven't you everything your heart can wish; an't you going to be married to a young man of great fortune; an't you going to have the quit-rent of twenty miles square? MARIA One-hundredth part of the land, and a lease for life of the heart of a man I could love, would satisfy me. VAN ROUGH Pho, pho, pho! child; nonsense, downright nonsense, child. This comes of your reading your storybooks; your Charles Grandisons, your Sentimental Journals, and your Robinson Crusoes, and such other trumpery. No, no, no! child; it is money makes the mare go; keep your eye upon the main chance, Mary. MARIA Marriage, Sir, is, indeed, a very serious affair. VAN ROUGH You are right, child; you are right. I am sure I found it so, to my cost. MARIA I mean, Sir, that as marriage is a portion for life, and so intimately involves our happiness, we cannot be too considerate in the choice of our companion. VAN ROUGH Right, child; very right. A young woman should be very sober when she is making her choice, but when she has once made it, as you have done, I don't see why she should not be as merry as a grig; I am sure she has reason enough to be so. Solomon says that "there is a time to laugh, and a time to weep." Now, a time for a young woman to laugh is when she has made sure of a good rich husband. Now, a time to cry, according to you, Mary, is when she is making choice of him; but I should think that a young woman's time to cry was when she despaired of getting one. Why, there was your mother, now: to be sure, when I popp'd the question to her she did look a little silly; but when she had once looked down on her apron-strings, as all modest young women us'd to do, and drawled out ye-s, she was as brisk and as merry as a bee. MARIA My honoured mother, Sir, had no motive to melancholy; she married the man of her choice. VAN ROUGH The man of her choice! And pray, Mary, an't you going to marry the man of your choice--what trumpery notion is this? It is these vile books [throwing them away]. I'd have you to know, Mary, if you won't make young Van Dumpling the man of your choice, you shall marry him as the man of my choice. MARIA You terrify me, Sir. Indeed, Sir, I am all submission. My will is yours. VAN ROUGH