Well, but what must I say to her? JESSAMY Say to her! why, my dear friend, though I admire your profound knowledge on every other subject, yet, you will pardon my saying that your want of opportunity has made the female heart escape the poignancy of your penetration. Say to her! Why, when a man goes a-courting, and hopes for success, he must begin with doing, and not saying. JONATHAN Well, what must I do? JESSAMY Why, when you are introduced you must make five or six elegant bows. JONATHAN Six elegant bows! I understand that; six, you say? Well-- JESSAMY Then you must press and kiss her hand; then press and kiss, and so on to her lips and cheeks; then talk as much as you can about hearts, darts, flames, nectar, and ambrosia--the more incoherent the better. JONATHAN Well, but suppose she should be angry with I? JESSAMY Why, if she should pretend--please to observe, Mr. Jonathan--if she should pretend to be offended, you must-- But I'll tell you how my master acted in such a case: He was seated by a young lady of eighteen upon a sofa, plucking with a wanton hand the blooming sweets of youth and beauty. When the lady thought it necessary to check his ardour, she called up a frown upon her lovely face, so irresistibly alluring, that it would have warmed the frozen bosom of age; remember, said she, putting her delicate arm upon his, remember your character and my honour. My master instantly dropped upon his knees, with eyes swimming with love, cheeks glowing with desire, and in the gentlest modulation of voice he said: My dear Caroline, in a few months our hands will be indissolubly united at the altar; our hearts I feel are already so; the favours you now grant as evidence of your affection are favours indeed; yet, when the ceremony is once past, what will now be received with rapture will then be attributed to duty. JONATHAN Well, and what was the consequence? JESSAMY The consequence!--Ah! forgive me, my dear friend, but you New England gentlemen have such a laudable curiosity of seeing the bottom of everything;--why, to be honest, I confess I saw the blooming cherub of a consequence smiling in its angelic mother's arms, about ten months afterwards. JONATHAN Well, if I follow all your plans, make them six bows, and all that, shall I have such little cherubim consequences? JESSAMY Undoubtedly.--What are you musing upon? JONATHAN You say you'll certainly make me acquainted?-- Why, I was thinking then how I should contrive to pass this broken piece of silver--won't it buy a sugar-dram? JESSAMY What is that, the love-token from the deacon's daughter?--You come on bravely. But I must hasten to my master. Adieu, my dear friend. JONATHAN Stay, Mr. Jessamy--must I buss her when I am introduced to her? JESSAMY I told you, you must kiss her. JONATHAN Well, but must I buss her? JESSAMY Why, kiss and buss, and buss and kiss, is all one. JONATHAN