The Cornhill Magazine (Vol. I, No. 4, April 1860)Various
General
The Cornhill Magazine (Vol. I, No. 4, April 1860)
Various
England -- Periodicals; English literature -- Periodicals; Short stories, English -- Periodicals
Mark’s heart was somewhat lighter as he left the bank. Mr. Forrest had
made so little of the whole transaction that he felt himself justified in
making little of it also. “It may be as well,” said he to himself, as he
drove home, “not to tell Fanny anything about it till the three months
have run round. I must make some arrangement then.” And in this way his
mind was easier during the last of those three months than it had been
during the two former. That feeling of over-due bills, of bills coming
due, of accounts overdrawn, of tradesmen unpaid, of general money cares,
is very dreadful at first; but it is astonishing how soon men get used to
it. A load which would crush a man at first becomes, by habit, not only
endurable, but easy and comfortable to the bearer. The habitual debtor
goes along jaunty and with elastic step, almost enjoying the excitement
of his embarrassments. There was Mr. Sowerby himself; who ever saw a
cloud on his brow? It made one almost in love with ruin to be in his
company. And even now, already, Mark Robarts was thinking to himself
quite comfortably about this bill;—how very pleasantly those bankers
managed these things. Pay it! No; no one will be so unreasonable as to
expect you to do that! And then Mr. Sowerby certainly was a pleasant
fellow, and gave a man something in return for his money. It was still a
question with Mark whether Lord Lufton had not been too hard on Sowerby.
Had that gentleman fallen across his clerical friend at the present
moment, he might no doubt have gotten from him an acceptance for another
four hundred pounds.
One is almost inclined to believe that there is something pleasurable in
the excitement of such embarrassments, as there is also in the excitement
of drink. But then, at last, the time does come when the excitement is
over, and when nothing but the misery is left. If there be an existence
of wretchedness on earth it must be that of the elderly, worn-out
_roué_, who has run this race of debt and bills of accommodation and
acceptances,—of what, if we were not in these days somewhat afraid of
good broad English, we might call lying and swindling, falsehood and
fraud—and who, having ruined all whom he should have loved, having
burnt up every one who would trust him much, and scorched all who would
trust him a little, is at last left to finish his life with such bread
and water as these men get, without one honest thought to strengthen his
sinking heart, or one honest friend to hold his shivering hand! If a man
could only think of that, as he puts his name to the first little bill,
as to which he is so good-naturedly assured that it can easily be renewed!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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